Triggering... So ready right now, it has all come flooding back all the feelings the fear the anger the hatred everything that drove me to it last time... I have tried for nearly 3 yrs I have tried... tried to be what is expected of me tried to give my all & now I am totally depleted. I just don't know anymore... Everything I have worked so hard for strived to be and do all potentially ruined. Why? Because stupid me does not count, what I say,do feel am... is all completely invalid!!! How can he be so completely ignorant??!!! My partner rang our competitor to ask about their products...????!!!!!!!! I mean HELLLOOOOOO How fuckin thick can you be???? Our competitor now knows all about us and where we are and what we do... I mean why not just suggest to them that there is a demand in our area??? They are bigger so have the means to just open a store in our area we are so screwed now - how can we compete with a conglomerate such as them... I have worked so hard and although I knew it was a matter of time before they moved into our area... I was really hoping to be established by then so we would have a fighting chance... oh God, I can't do this, he is like a loose cannon God knows when he is going to just go off on his own and do something like this all because he thought he was being clever when I had actually told him not to... but stupid idiotic me was not specific and did not explain all the ins and outs... but I asked him not to, why was that not enough? I am so obsolete that what I ask is not valid... so should I flag everything when I speak to him? Urrrghgghhh I so want to just end it tonight, I don't see the point anymore I barely leave the house, haven't eaten in days building the business has been my purpose to earn enough to pay a cleaner when I'm not mobile enough, to have more money that we can afford help where I physically can't... The computer & the business was one actually the only way I could be valid, maybe it is time, time they had a replacement... someone functional and valid someone they actually care about... time to step aside permanently!!! Sorry, I don't expect anyone to reply to this drivel, I didn't know where else to go... so ends my stupid vent.