So close to saying I'm done

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by midnightstar, Feb 1, 2013.

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  1. midnightstar

    midnightstar Senior Member

    I'm rapidly approaching the end of the line. No one cares at all and even when I put myself last to make sure everyone else gets what they need I still don't deserve anything to hold onto life for. I'm so tired of being the one who puts herself last all the time then getting called annoying and selfish as soon as I need something to hold on for.

    I feel like I only deserve bad things, never anything good.
     
  2. vixter101

    vixter101 Chat Buddy

    Please try and hold on hun...I know how helpful and understanding you have been when I've been in the same situation. I know you can hold on, you are strong and the world would be a duller place without you in it. Makes me smile when I see you are around in chat and know that at least someone will talk to me, if even to just say hello...People do care about you, but I know exactly what you mean about always putting others first and then feeling guilty when its yourself that needs the support - you shouldn't feel guilty, everyone deserves good things and life just sometimes throws tough things at you...please hang on...i'm here if you do need to talk. Vixter xxx
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun we care for you and you have given so much to us here hun I hope you continue to reach out hun because you too deserve all the compassion and care you give others hugs
     
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    We care. Try putting yourself first for once. You deserve it.
     
  5. midnightstar

    midnightstar Senior Member

    I try putting myself first but even online it's a case of "you don't deserve whatever you need" :( that's how it feels anyway :(
     
  6. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Then start putting yourself first and start being firm. If you can't do something because it's too draining, just say so. You are not selfish putting yourself first. When you are mentally ill, you NEED to put yourself first before you can be helpful to anyone.
     
  7. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Putting yourself first is more important than being helpful. Putting yourself last is easier, that's possibly why a number of us on here do that.

    And if anyone actually calls you annoying/selfish, I'd actually utilise that and be more like 'I can't please everyone, I'm just trying to please myself.' - if they can't accept that, they're the ones with the problem not you.
     
  8. midnightstar

    midnightstar Senior Member

    You'll all hate this disgusting bitch called midnightstar because she relapsed yesterday and hurt herself

    She's been manic since yesterday because she's stupid and evil and she's worthless
     
  9. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Midnightstar, Idon't hate you. Pretty sure no one else will. You are not stupid. You are not evil. You are worth a great deal.
    Yesterday was yesterday. Have a big hug from a big lady, Thea.
     
  10. Lost in translation

    Lost in translation Active Member

    Midnightstar that's far from the truth, no one on here thinks that. It's quite the opposite, you have helped many on here get through the tuff times! I know what it's like to put everyone first except yourself, but I do believe you will be rewarded for your actions it just takes time. You have been great to me since I joined, and always look forward to chatting with ya! So star I hope things start looking better for you, and we are all here if you need us! Time to put star first! :)
     
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Star- You are none of those things... you need to be kinder and gentler with yourself. I think you put yourself down too much and don't give yourself nearly enough credit, :hug:
     
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