The need to end this is so strong. The pain searing and unbearable. The waves of nausea. Im so done. I love & adore my kids but I am desperate for this pain to stop. I cant do this... Live like this. Thsy really would be better off, my son already acts as if I dont exist. Walking is harder & harder & theres not enough roim for a wheelchair. Already swallowed one handful just want to keep going. I need thia pain to stop.