so close

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Wastingecho, Sep 21, 2014.

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  1. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    it's too hard - i'm too close

    almost ended last week - it would have been so easy - but i let someone talk me out of it - looking back i'm not sure why

    it feels so near - everyone wants a piece of me but no really wants all of me

    i wanted a partner - i have a spouse

    i wanted a life - i have an existence

    i wanted friends - i have co-workers

    iwanted contentment - i have frustration and pain

    i wanted to be loved - i'm alone

    i keep trying to continue, to survive - i just can't find a reason to keep going on

    work will be hell tomorrow - just the stress of walking into the building is making me sick

    trying so hard to censor myself so my post won't be deleted - but that means i can't truly say what i'm feeling right now - i understand why and i don't want to trigger or hurt anyone - it just means i'm never going to be able to make anyone understand
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You want out i understand that as do many here want away out a way to disappear but you do have a reason to stay you know your children love y ou even if they do not show it they love you and you cannot harm them the only reason i stay
  3. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    been trying to tell my that for years and years

    not enough anymore - cost is too high
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    yes the cost to ourselves is very very high you are right we live in constant sadness i get that i do you love your children no matter what that love will not allow us to leave our children with the same illness we have how do we pass that on how do we allow them to live as we are doing we can't can we. we cannot allow them to suffer but dam i am so sorry you are in such pain
  5. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    at the point where i don't care - not going to take much to push me over the edge now - pulled backed from it again last week - don't know if i'm strong enough to do that again
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