So close.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ScarsandHopes, Jan 4, 2009.

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  1. ScarsandHopes

    ScarsandHopes Well-Known Member

    The depression waves are coming faster and lasting longer. I'm tired, I'm aching, and nothing it seems will cure that. The alcohol is almost gone, I've got 2 weeks worth of smokes, and my drug supply is gone. The three things that it seems have been keeping me alive are either gone or going. Not much longer now, and I'll have to leave. I won't sit here and tell you my life is horrible and it sucks. But, I will tell you that my life isn't getting any better from where it is. I don't know when, but soon. Soon will be the last breathe of a forlorn life.
  2. nz10040

    nz10040 Member

    im so sorry u feel like that
    this world is horrible:mad:
    but i just wish there was something that could appear magically that would motivate you in a different direction from death

    dont do it
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Have you been diagnosed by a shrink? Are you on meds? How about a therapist? If you answered no to these then you haven't explored all the avenues of getting help with your problems. If you are on meds they aren't working because you are drinking. Alcohol kills the effects of AD's. I would really encourage you to get a good therapist and he/she can shed light on what is happening with you. He/She can also teach you coping skills to fight off those negative thoughts. Just wanted you to know there is help out there you just need to reach out and take hold!!!~Joseph~
  4. ScarsandHopes

    ScarsandHopes Well-Known Member

    What if I answered yes to all of them? I've been diagnosed with so many things I can't keep them straight. PTSD, Severe Depression, Major Anxiety, Bi-Polar, Schizophrenia, I could keep going. My therapist basically told me I'm screwed up and should try and be happier, and I've been hospitalized twice. Meds don't work, I've OD'd on every one I've been given after 6 months of taking each and having no affect on them. The doctors are even sceptical of giving me meds because of this. I've learned so many coping skills, and none of them appear to work besides the ones listed in my first post. I'm just so lost, I don't know where to go anymore.
  5. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    Well certainly, smokes, drugs, and alcohol aren't going to better your life, in fact, they are only going to make it worse. :(

    Hopefully you can find a safer habit to pick up.. be safe.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Well obviously what you HAVE tried doesn't work so why not try something different say-find a new therapist!! It took me three therapists before I found one that I could bond with and I have been in the hospital ten times fixing to be eleven thursday. Don't give up on yourself!! You need to quit trying to OD because all your doing is harming your liver and kidneys. Do you want to be hooked up to a machine to keep your kidneys going?
  7. ScarsandHopes

    ScarsandHopes Well-Known Member

    After close to three years of substantial alcohol abuse (and still going), I'm not quite sure I won't be in the future anyways ;_;
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