so close

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MRGSO, Oct 12, 2010.

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  1. MRGSO

    MRGSO Active Member

    Well...I obviously havn't been on for awhile....things have been pretty fine....up until last weekend. when everything fell apart and now im back to the begining.
    I was so freaking close....soooooo clooose. My head was in the pillow. I could feel myself blacking out. It only hurt a little. I could have pushed through it. Then once you're unconcious the rest is easy. Why the hell did I ever lift my head up. I could have been i just have a really shitty headache. =(
    just the fact that i went 2 months thinking it was over and then ended up right back at the beggining shows that this whole "life" thing is pointless. It only exists to torment us.'s been almost a month since my soul was torn out of me and dragged up to heaven prematurely.....and my mom wont even let me go to the funeral. What. The. Fuck. -___-
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    how are you feeling today?
    I didn't understand about the funeral? did you lose someone close?
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Sorry...I did not get this...did someone close to you die? if so, please accept my condolences...and it is no wonder you are feeling as you are...that is so of my best friends died 3 weeks ago and my heart is still so broken and thoughts are with you...big hugs, J
  4. blake21numb

    blake21numb New Member

    How are you now? I felt bad for you.
    You must be in a very big problem to go through this.
    What was your problem really?

    Why cant you just face it?
  5. MRGSO

    MRGSO Active Member

    it ended up working out. i got to go. And yes....someone very close to me that I really looked up to died of a hear attack last month. (Idk if any of you know Mr.George N. Parks.....he was an amazing band director and he gave me my reason to live......literally....i would not be here if it were not for him...<3
  6. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    Im glad you got to go to the funeral
    How are you feeling now?
    Im sorry for your loss:hug:
  7. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    Just because the man has died does not mean that he cannot still give you reason to live. Keep with the music and make good on the things he gave you.

    I know you've probably heard this all before, but as the immortal Tom Lehrer line runs that some of us are: "good at giving advice to people who are happier than we are"
  8. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    So sorry about your loss and this is the reason to go live in his memory and make him proud of what you can do here...please continue to tell us what is going on...big hugs, J
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