so close

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by shellz, Nov 13, 2006.

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  1. shellz

    shellz Guest

    i am on the verge of another break down. i was doing somewhat okay since the last time i talked to anyone. its all going down hill. the people at my school dont believe me. im just a big waste of there time. if i try leaving school, or talk about doing anything again, i will get the cops called on me. yes, they could just be looking out for me..but they were talking about sending me away just last week. now they dont believe what i have to say. wtf.

    i had to leave my class today because i started crying and i didnt want anyone to notice. i broke my pencil so i could cut. im breaking down again.

    my life doesnt seem like it is worth the fight. everyday i wake up hoping to die. i think of ways to die. instead of ways to live and survive this.

    i dont have anywhere to go, nobody to call. its just me, alone, in this house again. and tonight, i think im going to break. i can feel it already
  2. Always Alone

    Always Alone Guest

    Come on Shellz stay strong, you can get through this. It kinda sucks that they don't belive you, maybe print out some of your posts on here, they'll start to belive pretty quickly.

    You are not going to break tonight, you can go on, and I hope you will. You are not alone in your house, while there may be no one there, believe me if I could be there I would be, and I'm sure that there are others reading your post who feel the same way.

    You said life isn't worth the fight, but what about the fight itself? Sometimes the fight is all we have, live for the fight.

    Whatever you decide to do, just be 100% its the right thing to do.
  3. shellz

    shellz Guest

    i am 100% behind this one plans are time will be here more of this shit..
  4. Always Alone

    Always Alone Guest

    Ok, I wont try to stop you, I know your plans are set, the only person who can change them now is you.

    Just remember, when you kill yourself you leave behind a trail of hurt people. Anyone who ever knew you will be affect. Just be sure to tie up any lose ends you have first.

    I hope you do change your mind, I want you to live
  5. shellz

    shellz Guest

    i dont want to live anymore.
  6. Always Alone

    Always Alone Guest

    I won't stand in your way, everyone has a right to do it. That said remember that things can always get better no mater how FUBAR they get.

    I hope you make the right decision for you

    I care, and I want you live
  7. shellz

    shellz Guest

    my descision is to go
  8. Always Alone

    Always Alone Guest

    You will be missed, but I will never forget. I'm sorry life treated in this way, you deserved so much more
  9. Luliby

    Luliby Staff Alumni


    Your decision is to go .... where? What do you think will happen when you die? Do you think believing you will have peace when you die will make it so? In my opinion, you are placing a lot of hope on the unknown. And with faith like that, you could direct your hope to better possibilities.

    You see, you still have hope. You've simply redirected it to a decision that you believe will give you the results you want. But, in truth you have no idea where that decision will take you.

    The mind is a powerful thing. You may even feel peaceful about your decision. Like the battle is finally over. Keep in mind suicide is not a solution, it is an end before a solution can be found. It can't be considered an option because an option means we have a choice and death robs us of both option and choice. Death is also an irreversible act that does not end the pain, because it remains in those who are left behind.

    If you set your mind to it, you can redirect hope again. Set your mind to a new solution, believe in it, and find that peace again. only this time it will be in a life saving way and with a future.

    If you feel you cannot redirect your thoughts, cannot choose survival, than ask for help and get yourself into a safe place. Call the Dr. on call (just call the ER and ask for the Psych Dr. on call) and tell him you can't stay safe, you need help. Yes, it may mean back to the hospital. I don't care how many times you have to go there just STAY SAFE. STAY SAFE so you can be there when things turn around and get better.

    and they will. Hold on.
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