well i started cutting agian this past month and have been really down and thinking about suicide a lot. i think about it all the time. I don't really know whats wrong theres nothing massive that has happened to make me feel sad and depressed. I'm just tired of being alive tired of school and family and church and pretending to be something i'm not i just don't wanna deal with it anymore. I keep getting these urges just to take a bunch of pills and be done with it but i don't think thats what i wanna do and i can't talk to anyone about it cause everyone thinks i'm doing really good and i don't want to disappoint them. Plus i'm not good at talking to people. And most of the people i talk to would just tell me its selfish and that i shouldn't even be thinking about it and just make me feel like crap for even having thoughts of suicide. i really am just depressed and confused about what i want i guess. i have a bunch of pills in my room now that i could take at any time but i don't even know if they would kill me.