So, dating again...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Ferret, Apr 17, 2010.

  1. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    Before now I didn't think it would be wise for me to date again, because I'm at a point in my life where I'm incapable of supporting someone else in a relationship. Maybe that's just me, but I'm just making enough money now to support myself.

    I signed up for a local blind dating service, where I meet with the organizer and she asks me what I want in a woman, and she searches for dates I might be compatible with. The first one didn't work out so well, as she didn't really have the sense of humor I like. The second person I had an amazing time with. We talked over coffee and I really loved the energy she displayed. She was always laughing, even at silly things which I like as well.

    Here's the issue. I'm turning 26 as of next month, and she's 40. The age gap seems a bit extreme, so I'm not sure if I should pursue further. I don't think I could commit to anything long term because of this, and I feel like I could be just wasting her time. She is an amazing person however and we get along quite well. From looking at her I'd never know she was 40. Definitely 34 at most.

    Am I overreacting? What should I do?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think you should just enjoy her company age i don't know if it bothers you maybe it will not work out ask her if it bother her you being much younger then her. I think enjoying ones company take it slow and just see where things lead for now. friends first right
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    If you can't commit long term and you know so you have to tell her NOW. To keep seeing someone when you know it has no future is a bit cruel in my mind.

    I think the age is not a big deal AT ALL really. If it is for you that is totally fair but I can tell you the best relationship I was ever in had an age gap of 21 years and we did great for 8 years.

    It is about what you want out the relationship and if you KNOW you don't want long term please tell her now as she may be fond of you and could get really hurt.
  4. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    I'm just saying that because I have no idea if it could work. This would be my second relationship if it turned out that way, and I don't even know how she feels with this age gap. I don't want anyone to get hurt. I think my insecurities are forcing me to think that this might not work out.
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Sounds like it, don't listen to your insecurities and go slow and remain opent to love.

    Please PM if you have anymore questions that I may be able to help with
  6. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    aw- good for you!!

    I don't see age as an issue, really.
    If you like spending time with her- you should keep it up!
    As long as she makes you feel good about yourself; and you both have fun then it's a good thing.

    My mom has always dated younger guys.
    It's a bit awkward to think that she could very well date a guy my age in the not too distant future... -___-

    One thing that you should just be careful of- is taking things too quickly.
    Go slow- decide whether the two of you are both serious or not. (FURTHER down the road, I mean)
    Not to make you paranoid; but it can be hurtful if one half is only looking for a fun time and the other half wants a commitment.

    The age thing- not an issue, honestly. It's 2010, dude!
  7. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    There's your red flag right there. Follow your gut. If you don't think you can commit, then don't, and let her know. This isn't something you're going to suddenly feel more comfortable with and you know it. So just be honest with that.
  8. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    It all over now. I went to my parent`s place on Saturday because I wanted to be there to help erect my sister`s monument on her grave. I was with my "significant other" on Saturday and sensed that she was acting kind of strange. Wasn`t really in the affectionate mood at all. I sent her a text message yesterday saying I was on my way back to the city and that we should meet somewhere. I got a reply back saying that over the weekend (after Saturday) she made up with her ex boyfriend and is now back with him, and that she doesn`t want me texting her or calling anymore. I tried to get an answer from her by both phoning and email, but it`s no use. I dont know what happened. We were getting along fine :(

    Now Im alone again. Dating sucks.

    Now I dont have a job, a life, or a girlfriend.

    Take my life because I`m useless.
  9. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    Better to know now than later that she would get back with her. She was with your family?
  10. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    shit happens. I hope you can remain open to having someone love you in the future... because it *will* happen. You're a really good guy, D.
    Just focus on yourself for now. I used to find that working as much as possible was a good way not to think about how sad I was.

    --although I don't have a job anymore... so I can't use that method.

    Hang in there, anyways- please?
  11. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    Awww, I'm gonna try my hardest. I don't have a job either now :( It's hard to keep one's head above water, but I'm living each day one single minute at a time.

    I feel better now. Thanks :)