I'm so depressed/suicidal. My mom just worked her last day of work- so she is now retired (Yippee- Not!) If I didn't live with her it probably wouldn't bother me but I unfortunately live with her so it does indeed bother me. I'm so damn sick of dealing with my mom. I truly can't stand living with her anymore. It's to much. She drives me fucking insane. I've been wanting a townhome but I would take an apartment to get away from her at this point. I'm unemployed. I've been on the search for a Nanny job as that is what I have work experience doing but I'm having no such luck and I don't have much money left. I had hope this one nanny agency could help me but the owner lady emailed me today telling me that after going through my file and references that she won't be able to place me with a job in their homes because I don't have enough experience. That is such bullshit. She had even told me in person when I met her that I had a lot of good experience. I'm thinking someone gave me a bad reference- don't know what else it could be. I'm not even worth hiring obviously. I'm such a fucking loser who deserves to be dead. The sad thing is- I don't have the money to kill myself right now without having to use a credit card- which I don't want to use for that. So I'm going to have to somehow find a shit job to work for a month or two so I can then have the cash/means to kill myself with. If that agency would of helped me find a job and a fair paying one- I could be trying to move out a month or two later. But with a shit job that's not even possible. I can't continue living with her much longer- and things are only going to get worse starting soon. I would honestly rather be dead than having to keep living with her. It's not worth it.