So depressed

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Autumn01, Jun 21, 2012.

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  1. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I'm so depressed. I need to just fucking kill myself. Would be the only good decision I have ever made.
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    It's not a good decision, and I hope you don't do it :hug:
     
  3. bigloozer

    bigloozer Member

    autumn we are here to support you if we can and you let us. Please talk to us. We care about you.
     
  4. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Thanks Witty and bigloozer.

    I am so damn sick of living with my mom- she drives me crazy 24/7 it's a living h*ll. I have to worry about things she does non-stop too.
    I am so fucking tired of it all. I hate this neighborhood too. I can't deal with everything much longer. It's to much and not worth carrying on for.
     
  5. Shane96

    Shane96 Member

    Maybe you should just run away from it all, get all the money you can get and run away, that's always a better decision, but a damn hard one too.
     
  6. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    Notreally. What if you run out of cash? Someone with depression isnt going to last very long MIA.
    What does your mom do that drives you crazy autumn?
     
  7. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Shane,
    My only way out is suicide. I've been trying to win money from the lottery - I would live instead if that would happen but it's not happening. I'm so fucking tired of holding on.
     
  8. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Lachry,
    I would run out of cash.
    Everything she does irritates me. Living with her is non-stop h*ll. I have completely had it with her. I definitely want to kill myself before Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around again (though I'm sure it will be much sooner as I don't think I can even hold on til then) as I'm not spending another holiday season with her- I'd so rather be dead.
     
  9. Drake

    Drake Well-Known Member

    hmm wierd Autumn , if money is the only thing holding you back . then you already know the answer and how to get it .

    You sure it isn´t more things that bind you to your life and mum , like security , like friends around , work , fear of starting all over with nothing ?
    Even if you win the loterry , what would you do with your mum ? what would you do for the rest of your life ?

    Who would make you happy ? what would make you happy ?
    Things never came free in this life , everything has a price , either emotional spiritual or material .
     
  10. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member


    There is no way for me to get out of here without winning the lottery.
    Nothing binds me to my mom. I can't stand her. I'm only here as I have no way to get away from her. Living with her is not worth living for. I'd be far less miserable dead.

    What would I do with my mom if I won the lottery? I'd get the h* ll away from her. I would move to another state and buy a townhome.
    What would make me happy? Winning the lottery then I could get the h*ll away from my mom. That would be the life. Also then most of my misery and anxiety would go away as I wouldn't have to be near her anymore nor would I have to have anything to do with her anymore.
     
  11. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    Hope you don't mind me askin' but why does she irritate you? Does she say things that upset you? Does she treat you like a child when you're a grown woman? I don't recommend playing the lottery to "try" and win it.. the chance is just too slim! Do you work?

     
  12. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Why does she irritate me? Just about everything she does annoys me. Sometimes she says things that upset me.
    No, she doesn't really treat me like a child. She is always messy in the kitchen. She doesn't always wash her hands, I worry about her leaving things open. I am tired of dealing with her- it's not worth it. I was doing some hotel work but now it's slow so I haven't had work for a month now. No, it wasn't like a good income. My only hope is the lottery.
     
  13. leviyoung2012

    leviyoung2012 Banned Member

    God put you on this earth for a reason. To leave would be a big mistake. Stay.
     
  14. Drake

    Drake Well-Known Member

    Well can only say money wouldn't solve the problems , money makes life easier but it never solved any problems .
    If you think your mum is destroying your life , maybe start saving up money and check out of state friends .
    Start a new life , it doesn't cost that much to start again , it does cost determination willingness to be humble , accept that luxury is not within reach and sometimes willingness to go below your current society level .

    Say winning the lottery solves it all is like waiting for a miracle to happen and then squander it .
    You do know winning the lottery doesn't mean you are in the good life , money never ever did that for people .
    It is how to utilise and spend money with what you want to reach or achieve , that makes winning a lottery worthwhile .
     
  15. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    I hope you wont get upset but relying on the lottery is unrealistic and farfetched. I know moms can be very irritating but if you made an attempt to get along with mum im sure you'd feel a little better and not go nuts everytime :D
     
  16. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Thanks but I have nothing to stay for.
     
  17. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member


    It would help me greatly.
     
  18. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I don't want to get along with my mom. I absolutely can't stand her. If I can't get away from her than I want to be buried.
     
  19. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    It sounds as if your mother is currently your means of financial and living support (home, food, etc.). It's never fun living under someone else's roof or by their rules or putting up with their attitudes, but it pretty much does come with the territory. Perhaps you can work with your mom in helping create an environment that is more conducive to both of you - it is possible that she too is depressed or unhappy and that could be reflecting on her behavior as well. The best goal you could have, rather than dying, is to create a plan and focus effort on liberating yourself into a different living situation. Playing lottery is a luxury activity, much like cigarettes or other things, and you could start saving that money toward your plan. I don't know what the working situation is like, but have you applied for other employment anywhere? Perhaps sit down with your mom and explain calmly the challenges that you feel are bringing you down right now and see if she has any assistance she can lend, or understanding. She is supporting you, so it is a given that she cares. I think everyone here cares about everybody else and so please remember that all suggestions or advice, valid or not to your situation, are made with positive intentions in mind.
     
  20. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member


    I buy my own food but I do live here.
    If I don't win a lottery by mid November- I am definitely killing myself. Moneywise I have no way to get out of here by then without winning a lottery and I refuse to spend another Thanksgiving and Christmas with her.
    I will just stop posting threads on here.
     
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