So done..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lostbutnotfound, Oct 29, 2011.

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  1. lostbutnotfound

    lostbutnotfound Well-Known Member

    Okay.. that's it.. I've officially given up. I clearly can't do this anymore. I have had enough of the bullshit that is my life.

    I'm sat here, and I've literally.. I'm done. I'm so done. I'm done with hurting, crying, everything. I can't do this.

    There is nothing else to say, I guess. Some people here have saved me more times than I can care to remember, and they've been amazing. But not everyone can be saved. Some people are too fucking broken for repair. Took me long enough to realize I am one of those people.

    So.. thanks for everything. I'm sorry that things ended this way, but.. there really is no other way out. Take care, all.
     
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Heya, what's happened?

    No one wants you to hurt or off yourself. And no one is "un-saveable".

    Please stay safe. :hug:
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not broken okay you are suffering and now is time to go to hospital and get the support and help that is there for YOU okay call crisis line or go to emergency hun please
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    OY You :whip: BEHAVE!!!!

    And who am I going to have a massive bitching session with if you aren't around?
    And who is gonna make me laugh when I'm throwing me dummy out of the pram?

    Whatever it is, it's not insurmountable, you have friends, anything is possible :hug:
     
  5. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Don't go! I like playing the banned game with you! :hug: You are worth and deserve all the happiness in the world!

    Let us help you!
     
  6. lostbutnotfound

    lostbutnotfound Well-Known Member

    3 weeks ago, my partner left me. Then declared that our whole relationship was a lie.
    10 days ago, I got raped. It was my own fault, but regardless, it happened and it's still pretty painful to move around.
    Today I got kicked to the curb again. It happens repeatedly. I'm hurting, screaming.. but no one hears. I have friends, this is true, but how much of my shit are they supposed to be expected to put up with before I concede enough is enough?

    Tonight. Enough IS enough. It's become too much. The past was bad enough to fight on a day by day basis. The present? I swear to you, I can't. I actually really honestly can't. I need it to stop.
     
  7. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Well, I am sorry for everything that has happened. :hug: That's got to be horrible to hear that from someone you depended on at one point in your life.

    As for your rape... have you reported it to the police?

    We are here to listen to you lost... please promise that you will fight it out one more day.
     
  8. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    And what about the help you have given to others, including me. What does that count for? So as you've said to me numerous times friends are there for each other. So here we all are... Through thick and thin. Don't shut us out :hug:
     
  9. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm sorry your partner left you. That must hurt. It will take some time for that to stop hurting so much. Give yourself time to heal from this.

    This was NOT your fault. Please don't blame yourself. Are you going to see a counsellor to talk about this? I gather they can be very helpful. :hug:

    We are here for you. I'm glad you posted. I hope that you can keep talking about things with us until you are feeling better about them. Please be safe. :hug:
     
  10. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Donna none of this is your fault. What you have been through as of late is truely horrendous but you ARE strong and you CAN get through this. Speak to us, go to A&E do anything but hurt yourself. You are very much loved and cared for and don't believe for one second that you are unfixeable. Give time a chance to be able to get your head round whats gone on as of late. Love you lots hun xxx
     
  11. lostbutnotfound

    lostbutnotfound Well-Known Member

    I haven't been to the police about the rape, or counselors. The circumstances surrounding my life at the time of the rape leads me to believe that pretty much everyone would think it was my fault, or atleast that I was to blame and deserved it. My mental health workers know, and tried to get me to go to an examination as I was in a lot of pain, but I just.. I can't deal with that.

    As for my partner.. yeah it hurts. A lot. I'd managed to reign in the pain and numb myself to some extent, but it all hit me hard on Saturday, and is continuing to do so.

    The reason I'm actually still here is due to a friend threatening to call the police on me if I went offline for any reason etc, Sat night, and the fact that she's asked me to wait until she comes down, this weekend hopefully, to see if it helps. I doubt it will. I've spent all time since then in bed. Hiding from the world. I'm still set on my suicide, I know it's the only way. I don't know if I can wait until the weekend.. I'm clinging on by my fingertips and am slipping more with every passing second.

    I need help.. I need people to accept that suicide genuinely is the best thing for me.. I need..something.
     
  12. BK_Jetsfan

    BK_Jetsfan Well-Known Member

    Definitely understand that need for...something. Even when I have no idea what that something is.
     
  13. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    number 1 - it was NOT your fault.

    number 2 - it was NOT your fault.

    number 3 - it was NOT your fault.

    I can keep saying it, yet you will not believe that until you talk with someone about all of this and begin to process it all. Please seek out help. Something like this is so difficult to try and get through on your own. I know, I have tried and look where its got me.

    It takes healing and time with people who can help. Start there, even don't go to the police (although I'd still rather you did), just please reach out for support from people who can help you with this abuse.

    Please?

    Its time to look after you, concentrate on you - no one else at all. Be good to yourself, it takes practice and self love to get there.

    Don't forget about those YOU have helped, including me. I'm eternally grateful for having a late night buddy to chat with, please stay with us.

    :hug:
     
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