So easy to think of so hard to do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by allyn666, Jul 15, 2011.

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  1. allyn666

    allyn666 Member

    Rationally, I would like to kill myself. I have an almost foolproof method. Not messy either. The problem is that when I just think about it I don't feel the determination in my soul that I imagine would be needed to actually go through with the act. Every night I review the plan in my head hoping that mental rehearsal will improve my will to go through with it. I seem to be creeping in that direction, I how the resolve comes soon. Lots of insurance money would be a huge help to those I leave behind, would in fact, remove a major source of conflict and worry. They would consider it blood money until they began to spend it.
  2. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    Your mind might be able to imagine or would even try to convince you (your mind) that it would “remove a major source of conflict and worry”, but your soul would never “buy” that…as your soul is beyond your mind…

    Your soul would of course tell you to live and do what you can. Your soul also knows that you do have what it takes to overcome obstacles/difficulties in your life situations and live...

    You can only free yourself from all limitations by living...
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you will only bring more hardship more suffering and pain to the ones you leave behind you mind your thoughts are so distorted right now you do not see clearly. Time to reach out to your doctor and get help okay for YOU because you are important hun you do matter hugs
  4. allyn666

    allyn666 Member

    I will not bring more hardship and pain. Well, for a couple of weeks. Then the edge will come off and the money will be there, and the money will make things better. I will be missed on some levels, and I will sorely miss the things that will happen in a future without me, but that is the price I am willing to pay.
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    TE is right are important ..
    do you want to tell us more about what is worrying you?

    I lost a loved one to suicide and I would live under a bush if I could have him back..
    there is not enough money in the world to take away the grief and pain suicide/death causes..and as time goes on it gets worse not better

    if you have people who love you then please fight those SI thoughts and get help asap
    talk to your doctor...
    you are worth more to them alive than you will be if you go.
    stay around and be a part of their future
  6. objectsinmirrors

    objectsinmirrors Well-Known Member

    Hi Ally,

    So sorry to hear you are thinking about ending your life. I imagine that if you are thinking about suicide, you must be in tremendous pain. I lost a friend i didn't know very well to suicide in February. It was simply amazing how people who knew me, but not even her were effected, some of the people who didn't even know her having urges to hurt themselves. It's a very difficult way to lose someone, which I know can seem unimportant when we are hurting so much in the here and now! It sounds like financial issues are at play for your family, which can sure cause a lot of stress. Is there anyone in real life you can turn to for support, Ally? SF is always here for you, of course, but i have found it helpful to be able to have people who can be there with me to hug me, sit with me, etc. If you feel comfortable, I would also be very interested in hearing more about what is troubling you. You're NOT Alone, and I hope you will stay in touch with us so we know how you are doing.

    May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be wise. May you be safe and protected. Peace be with you.
  7. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Seems like your soul wants you to stay alive x
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