So Emotionless..

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ~26May_4eva~, Apr 11, 2007.

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  1. ~26May_4eva~

    ~26May_4eva~ Guest

    Well, I have no idea how to start this.. But I don't even know what I'm feeling.. *sigh*

    One of the people I knew was hit by a car today and she's still in the hospital. She txted me and told me to tell her that I love her in case she would die. I told her that. She hasnt replied since then. I mean, I thought I didn't care about anything or anyone except for those that I love, but it turns out that I'm scared. Really scared. I'm scared that she'll leave me. I'm afraid that somewhere, someone would die. I don't know how to explain this but I care about everyone I've met..probably too much.. >.<

    I just have no idea what to do.. Just need to let this out. I don't know how I feel anymore. Before I knew if I was happy, depressed, angry, or scared. But now I feel nothing, except this sense of emptiness.

    I wish that none of my friends would leave me again, it hurts so much. I'm scared of losing people. I'm afraid that someone would leave me.. T__T *sigh* Maybe the best solution is just to trust no one, but I care way too much.. >.<

    Ok I hope this isn't *too random*.. but hmm thanks for reading if you are.. :hug:
     
  2. LoD

    LoD Well-Known Member

    I can understand what you're saying, I'm afraid of losing people I haven't even met. There's little I can say what can make you feel better, so I'm hoping a reply will make you smile. :hug:

    Don't stick too long behind a computer if you're feeling down, they don't really help, play videogames, read, kick a ball against a poor defenseless wall over and over again, things like that. Distraction is one of the minds greatest weapons, use it well. :eek:
     
  3. ~26May_4eva~

    ~26May_4eva~ Guest

    aww thanks for replying~ i wasnt really expecting any... I've realised one thing:

    This forum is a totally wrong choice for me.. I'm too pathetic.. The more posts I read, the more I care.. The more people I talk to, the more worried I am.. Now I care about like so many people here.. and I have this weird problem: if someone I know dies [especially after telling me about the suicidal thoughts], I can't help it.. I would start feeling like the murderer... That's how stupid I am......
     
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    If you feel that it's not healthy or right for you to be here, then maybe try taking a step back.

    That's probably true for a lot of people here. Maybe if you took a step back, and gave some people contact info for you, like msn, then it might give you some space.

    That's not stupid. A lot of people feel like that. But you need to try and keep it rational in your brain. Remind yourself that all these people are in control of their OWN actions. It is not your responsibility, it is not your fault. Murder is only murder if you actually physically kill the person yourself. If you have not done that, then it was/is not murder.

    Try and keep it rational. Have you had any help with this constant blaming of yourself? Maybe you could get some. It sounds like you are blaming yourself for things totally unrelated to you, so therefore, nothing to do with you so you shouldn't take the blame. That's a problem that needs to be dealt with.

    Hang in there
     
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