So feeling bad tonight

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sparky55313, Apr 7, 2010.

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  1. Sparky55313

    Sparky55313 Well-Known Member

    Been months since I have been here. My dearest friend passed away tonight. How I wish it could have been myself. Now its yet another funeral to I try to convince myself.
    My heart is broken even more than before. I want to be with her as she makes this journey to what we call the unknown. But I know I can't....just yet. my heart aches, my eyes drop tears in floods. My instict screams at me I want to live. Panic attacks abound.
    Just came back from the hospital of three months stay.......only to come back home to meet the death of one who supported myself and convinced me to know all is always allright.Now to find a means to meet her soon.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I can feel your pain in your post and i am sorry your friend is gone. I hope you have lots of support and friends to help you in this time. I hope you can get some therapy for you to deal with this loss.
  3. Concave

    Concave Active Member

    That sucks. I lost one of my best friends to an OD about a year and half ago. What really sucks is we kind parted on bad terms so I still blame myself for his death. I've been thinking a lot lately about killing myself... been researching ways to do it. Not a good time. I feel for you, just try and remember that your friend would not want you to kill yoursef. I know it doesn't really help when people tell u stuff like this, cause it doesn't really help me either; but it always seems easier looking in on someone elses problems than dealing w/ my own.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Just sending my heartfelt thoughts and prayers...this is so sad...please PM me if I can be there for you...and, I do know how this feels, as something similar happened to me...big hugs, J
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry this has happened to you...I hear your pain but suicide is not the way...
    you see first hand what grief it causes...
    get some more help to get you through this,,,
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