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so fucked up

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#1
I am so fucking fucked up right now, my head, my mind changes every few seconds, i'm so mixed, i'm so angry, so hurt, i want to help, i want to love, but god do i want to die. i'm supposed to have more ect in the morning, i just feel sick thinking about it, i just want to sleep and never wake up.

My abuse of drugs is increasing, so much so that I did something awful earlier in the hopes of getting hold of something stronger.

I can't bare to be in this world anymore, this universe, the few friends i have who would support me, are all right on the brink of suicide, so much so that i am dangerous to them.

I have no one, no one to help me, to hold me, to keep me safe.

i can't even fucking cry.

i'm not taking my insulin, i feel like i'm loosing whole sections of my memory but i don't know, probably just me being tired.

i can't write any more, i shouldn't even post this, i'll probably actually get people caring, which isn't right, i don't deserve that.
 
#4
You aren't shit. You're a good person, you just have problems like the rest of us, you are in no way shit, you are just really struggling right now. I hear your pain, it's hard to hang on, I know beleive me I think about ending it daily. But know you aren't alone, you always have us, and you have me hun.. I'm alwas here for you. And one more time... YOU AREN'T SHIT! please beleive me there. Please hang in there. :) :hug:
 

Jodi

Staff Alumni
#5
LMA...:hug: ...I'm so sorry you are hurting so bad....you are not a bad person....we all think of ourselves that way in the depths of depression....please know that your a good person doing the best you can......we're here for you...I could so relate to the first half of your writing in a very personal manner now....so your not alone my friend...hang in...and if you cant....do like my signature says....:smile: warm thoughts and caring prayers comming your way....
 
#6
LMA...:hug: ...I'm so sorry you are hurting so bad....you are not a bad person....we all think of ourselves that way in the depths of depression....please know that your a good person doing the best you can......we're here for you...I could so relate to the first half of your writing in a very personal manner now....so your not alone my friend...hang in...and if you cant....do like my signature says....:smile: warm thoughts and caring prayers comming your way....
I second that motion!! huggles and caring thoughts and prayers coming at ya! :) I'm always here for ya :) :hug:
 
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