I am so fucking fucked up right now, my head, my mind changes every few seconds, i'm so mixed, i'm so angry, so hurt, i want to help, i want to love, but god do i want to die. i'm supposed to have more ect in the morning, i just feel sick thinking about it, i just want to sleep and never wake up. My abuse of drugs is increasing, so much so that I did something awful earlier in the hopes of getting hold of something stronger. I can't bare to be in this world anymore, this universe, the few friends i have who would support me, are all right on the brink of suicide, so much so that i am dangerous to them. I have no one, no one to help me, to hold me, to keep me safe. i can't even fucking cry. i'm not taking my insulin, i feel like i'm loosing whole sections of my memory but i don't know, probably just me being tired. i can't write any more, i shouldn't even post this, i'll probably actually get people caring, which isn't right, i don't deserve that.