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so hay!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MangoMango, Jun 20, 2009.

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  1. MangoMango

    MangoMango New Member

    Ive been here for a week or so and ive read quite a bit of what you write here. But ive been banned pretty soon cause mods around here seem to lack a sence of humor.

    My dad kicked my mom out around the time i was 11. He just changed the locks on the door so she couldnt get it. My mom found a husband abroad. A wealthier, better man as it seemed. Meanwhile i got into a car accident. A pretty nasty one too since i couldnt walk for 6 months. Later she brought me here(netherlands). But it didnt last long cause my new found stepfather was an asshole to me and i wouldnt be able to apply to any university after a school i was put in. So after a bit of arguing with my mother i went back to my home country to live with my granma. Who always been a great woman. But always been a bitch too. We always had a great deal of arguments. Because of my drinking mostly. The thing is , even though i never did GREAT at school, i always did pretty good because i had big ambitions. I was hanging out with local scum mostly. But anyway, when i was 16 my granma busted me fucking my then-girlfriend on a tuesday morning(when i supposed to be at school) so after another huge argument i ended up with my mom, 2000 km away from my home country. And with her asshole husband too. Her husband turned out to be quite a smartass. He actually had a buisness of gettin wives abroad, gettin huge loans on their names and kickin em out to whatever shithole they came from. So my mom got involved with another asshole instead that convinced her that i was doing drugs or something. Anyway, lets skip 2 years, i moved out on my own as soon as i had a chance because i had no intentions of dealing with my mom and her fucked up boyfriends anymore. I worked for awhile, doing all kinds of stuff, from carpentry to crane operating. Now i study aerospace engineering.

    So thats where my whole issue is. During this whole fucked up life story of mine ive been through many things. And ive managed to cope with it. Phisical pain, emotional pain, separation, fear, abuse, whatever. And this whole time i had one objective: not to end up losers like my family. Thats all i asked. Thats all i lived for. To actually make something of myself for once. I never atached to anyone, never listened to anyone, ive been only living for myself. But now all those troubles just keep piling up, its just too much for me. Im tired. Im tired of struggling. Im tired of all this crap. Im so very tired. I just want to lay down and disappear. I dont want to live anymore. Its ridiculous how i much i gotto go through. Noone really gives a shit whats gona come out of me anyway. I might as well just finish it off right now. Rather than living till i turn 40 and regret all those years ive wasted. Not because i am a talentless hack but because all those fuckers out there are onto me.

    Ive read your stuff. <Mod Edit: Abacus21 - inappropriate, insulting and methods> Ive had it with this world. Im not afraid of dying, i almost died once in that car accident, its not that bad really. And im not even sad or anything. Im just very very tired.

    Cheers to mods! No way you gona get rid of me before i finish myself. Youre just makin it more of a challenge.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 20, 2009
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Thanks for sharing, very insightful and thought provoking, I can tell you are really intelligent too-WOW.
  3. MangoMango

    MangoMango New Member

    ha, thanks! tryin to stay intelligent in a world full of fuckin losers. but now they want to cancel my study loans because of new citizenship laws so i would probably gona end up flippin burgers or dealing drugs or some shit like that. which is not an option.
  4. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    You're failing miserably. You could not even recognize the obvious sarcasm in her response.

    Your post is full of immature foul language, ignorance, and insults to better people than you including calling your own grandma a "bitch" Hardly insightful or thought provoking. It was a shallow and childish rant. Intelligent? No, you're dumber than a box of rocks. Whoops, excuse me, dumber than a DRUNK box of rocks.:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 20, 2009
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Mango,

    Im sorry to hear you're going through a difficult time, keep talking if it helps x
  6. MangoMango

    MangoMango New Member

    your parents must be very proud of you.
  7. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Keep it clean, guys. Civility is all we ask :)
  8. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    Yes, as a matter of fact, they are. Yours however must be incredibly embrassed and ashamed.
  9. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    You came through some moderately troubled times to make it to the point where you may be able to become an aerospace engineer which is a very difficult profession and you should be proud of it. I know, because my dad was one. Yet all you are doing is testing the mods and others here to see how much you can get away with.

    If you want to discuss your issues, do so and you'll get some positive feedback. If you've nothing better to do than insult other members and the moderators perhaps this is just not the place for you. And just a bit of advice...many of the members here have had plenty of experience dealing with an individual who simply wishes to cause problems, so be prepared.
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry to hear of the struggles you have had. You have the chance to turn things around and succeed despite your childhood. Things are in your hands now, and you determine the outcome. You are lucky you had a grandmother willing to open her home to you. I am afraid you took advantage of her genesrosity. You will find many people here that are struggling, or have struggled in the past. Perhaps we can learn from each other through our experiences and support. Remember you are responsible for your actions.
  11. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Just a little advice....once a member of SF (almost) always a member but once you become a :trolls: you're out. So get the support and help you came here for and give up the hurtful mudslinging.
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