Been thinking about suicide for a year now, almost more... Had a plan at one time, even went to talk to a counselor on an emergency basis, but the counselor decided I wasn't a risk. I Have so much wrong, and it all seems to build on top of each other. Once I get one thing straightened out, 6 more hit me from the side. What are they? Glad you asked.... Family: I have had absolutely no relationship with my Parents in over 4 years. I haven't talked to my brother or sister in that same amount of time. I have one divorce and I am currently going through another one. I had custody of my daughter, but thanks to my "current" wife, she no longer lives with me. I have two boys with my "current" wife, which I have not even spoken with in over 7 months - not for lack of trying. Financial: My credit was great until my last marriage. It went into the crapper thanks to her, to the point where I almost had a car repossessed. Friends: I don't let people get close to me. I have people I will hang out with, but absolutely no one to talk to. Work: Am in the military, and if any of you are in, were in or know someone in, i am sure you are familiar with that stress. Relationships: Have a couple, but nothing that I feel is a saving grace. So, I have weighed the pros and cons. I have looked at what I should live for and it doesn't even come close to why i shouldn't be here any more. I haven't even scratched the surface of all the bs. Each subject listed I could easily expound on, but I just don't have the energy to do it. So I am finally at the point... the finally one. The only thing that is holding me back is doing it half-assed and not doing it correctly. I figure though, if I mix enough pills it will eventually do it, given time with no one checking on me. That shouldn't be an issue at all. I have a three day weekend and if I do it Saturday night, no one would check on me until Tuesday evening at the earliest. i have gone through all the arguments on why not to... Your family -- wrong, no contact with any of them for a long time... no issues there. Co-workers -- wrong, I attempted to get help from work, and was basically turned away. Friends -- no, not really God -- not religious, so doesn't bother me on that aspect. Going to buy some <mod edit: no details of pills please. We don't allow method sharing> This is what I have on hand and I am sure some of it will interact together, especially the anti-depressants and the sleeping pills. Sorry for the post, just needed somewhere to say it and get it out there. Letters are written, will is updated, just a matter of me ensuring i get it right. I do not want to be one of those who keeps trying to get it right. Do it right the first time.... If you read all this, sorry for the length... Seems that is all i can keep saying to people.