My husband says I'm choosing to be self loathing and to have negative thoughts. He said if I loved him I would just stop and do something positive for us. Whenever life gets too hard I take a sleeping pill, and he waits till I'm half passed out and has sex with me. He says I need to prove my love and stop taking pills. I don't know what to do. He's lied to me so many times about liking other girls and watching porn. I have no more energy to try and get over it. I don't know what to do. I hate myself so much. Please help.