So new here but been lurking, reading , thinking.........
I dont really want to go on and on about my problems, issues etc. I just wanted to talk to people who understand me a bit. Feeling so isolated and alone.
Contemplating what everyone here is. Wax and wane on it. Up and down, up and down. No real conclusion. I am sitting on the fence. I dont know about the rest of you but it really takes me a lot to get to that place where i could go thru with it.....been there so many times and somehow always hang on and see the sun rise tomorrow.
But you know i am seriously wondering if its such a bad thing. I am trying to rationalize this out. On the one hand the pain will stop. On the other, you cant watch a beautiful sunrise or listen to cool music if you're dead. Maybe its best to just stay alone, accept it and live life for myself....enjoy the beauty of life and forget all the others. I dont know..........
What i do know is being dead lasts a long long time. We are all going there eventfully ....like it or lump it why rush it? Again, on the fence.
Well 1.59am, cant sleep. Listening to music on youtube. Its uplifting. Sitting reflecting on the world....... why people do the things they do.
Seem to be drifting closer and closer. Thinking about it all the time now, no longer emotional about it. Planning my estate, thinking about packing all my stuff up to leave everything tidy and clean...... i'd hate anyone to have to deal with my grime. I sure dont want to leave anything embarrassing around to be found. Its become a fact to deal with now, no longer the hurting pain it was.
Well i am just rambling now. Just felt the need to talk to someone, even though i dont know you.
Good luck to you all
I dont really want to go on and on about my problems, issues etc. I just wanted to talk to people who understand me a bit. Feeling so isolated and alone.
Contemplating what everyone here is. Wax and wane on it. Up and down, up and down. No real conclusion. I am sitting on the fence. I dont know about the rest of you but it really takes me a lot to get to that place where i could go thru with it.....been there so many times and somehow always hang on and see the sun rise tomorrow.
But you know i am seriously wondering if its such a bad thing. I am trying to rationalize this out. On the one hand the pain will stop. On the other, you cant watch a beautiful sunrise or listen to cool music if you're dead. Maybe its best to just stay alone, accept it and live life for myself....enjoy the beauty of life and forget all the others. I dont know..........
What i do know is being dead lasts a long long time. We are all going there eventfully ....like it or lump it why rush it? Again, on the fence.
Well 1.59am, cant sleep. Listening to music on youtube. Its uplifting. Sitting reflecting on the world....... why people do the things they do.
Seem to be drifting closer and closer. Thinking about it all the time now, no longer emotional about it. Planning my estate, thinking about packing all my stuff up to leave everything tidy and clean...... i'd hate anyone to have to deal with my grime. I sure dont want to leave anything embarrassing around to be found. Its become a fact to deal with now, no longer the hurting pain it was.
Well i am just rambling now. Just felt the need to talk to someone, even though i dont know you.
Good luck to you all