So i finally think i figured out how i feel

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Hdhsjsjsz, Aug 10, 2010.

  1. Hdhsjsjsz

    Hdhsjsjsz Well-Known Member

    I have been with my so called EX-GF for the past 7-8 years, we've broken up for 2-3 times so far.. i thought i loved her, actually i was forcing myself to love her. I was lonely, i didn't want to loose her, we would call each other and talk for hours without getting bored, but as soon as she and i hit maturity we started going through separate ways. she does call every now and then, she keeps telling me she loves me, i don't think i can lie to her anymore... i know we won't be together for religious reasons (one of the main reasons i left religion altogether) .. i started realizing after i started taking my medications for depression/anxiety what i truly feel deep down inside.. is that i wanted her around because i was extremely lonely and didn't have anyone to talk to. maybe i was greedy, maybe i'm an asshole and as the saying goes "you never miss anything until it's gone for good" or something like that. i just felt like spilling it out here... today i realized i had a soft spot for her, and i want it to go.

    thanks for the good times A, you broke my heart a thousand times, i've forgiven you a thousand times, i made a million mistakes. still deep down there's a place always occupied by you.

    sorry had to have this all out, been thinking about it all day..

    thanks for giving the time to read if you did

    blessings,
    S
     
  2. ema

    ema Antiquities Friend

    i don't really know what to say. i understand, though.

    it's good to pay attention to your insides and be honest.

    you never really lose somebody you truly loved, you just move on sometimes.

    :hug:
     
  3. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug:
    Don't know what to say, but I hear ya :arms:
     
  4. Hdhsjsjsz

    Hdhsjsjsz Well-Known Member

    thanks to both of ya, glad someone understands me :)
     
  5. hadit

    hadit Member

    Good to have some clarity, even if it is painful to realise. Thanks heaps for taking the time to share it.