So i finally think i figured out how i feel

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Hdhsjsjsz, Aug 10, 2010.

  1. Hdhsjsjsz

    Hdhsjsjsz Well-Known Member

    I have been with my so called EX-GF for the past 7-8 years, we've broken up for 2-3 times so far.. i thought i loved her, actually i was forcing myself to love her. I was lonely, i didn't want to loose her, we would call each other and talk for hours without getting bored, but as soon as she and i hit maturity we started going through separate ways. she does call every now and then, she keeps telling me she loves me, i don't think i can lie to her anymore... i know we won't be together for religious reasons (one of the main reasons i left religion altogether) .. i started realizing after i started taking my medications for depression/anxiety what i truly feel deep down inside.. is that i wanted her around because i was extremely lonely and didn't have anyone to talk to. maybe i was greedy, maybe i'm an asshole and as the saying goes "you never miss anything until it's gone for good" or something like that. i just felt like spilling it out here... today i realized i had a soft spot for her, and i want it to go.

    thanks for the good times A, you broke my heart a thousand times, i've forgiven you a thousand times, i made a million mistakes. still deep down there's a place always occupied by you.

    sorry had to have this all out, been thinking about it all day..

    thanks for giving the time to read if you did

  2. ema

    ema Antiquities Friend

    i don't really know what to say. i understand, though.

    it's good to pay attention to your insides and be honest.

    you never really lose somebody you truly loved, you just move on sometimes.

  3. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug:
    Don't know what to say, but I hear ya :arms:
  4. Hdhsjsjsz

    Hdhsjsjsz Well-Known Member

    thanks to both of ya, glad someone understands me :)
  5. hadit

    hadit Member

    Good to have some clarity, even if it is painful to realise. Thanks heaps for taking the time to share it.