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So I guess it never goes..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Beka, Jan 17, 2012.

  1. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    Hmm it's been a while since I've felt the need to come on here, guess it's good that I feel like I at least have somewhere to vent. I'm not so stressed out anymore, which is good, I don't get those nasty headaches that stayed with me for so long.

    I thought I was better, apparently not. I guess these kind of feelings never really leave do they? I found a document on my laptop today, one I had hidden so well, I wrote it out a couple years ago and added to it every week, like a diary. It was of how much I hated everyone around me and of how much I hated myself. Wow. That brought back those feelings of depression and anxiety and anger. I look at my scars now and I think, how? Haha. Not how could I do that to myself, how did I stop when I was hating on myself so much? I was so convinced it was the best way.

    I'm kind of proud of myself, even though I feel like I could still use some professional help. I'm proud that I got to that first step of getting out of that black hole, even if looking back makes me want to sit here and cry. I don't sh anymore and that is why I'm proud. This is like a weird thank you too, I know I didn't post as much as I could of, or shared as much, but you guys still helped, Just to know that someone was there if I really needed it.

    Thank you.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu should be so proud of you hun for stopping the sh I do hope you reach out too hun for some help okay to keep you from falling back to keep you moving forward It helps to have someone listen and guide us sometimes hugs