Let me first off start by saying, I've given it much thought and realized after all this repeated pain thats been thrown at me, I was simply not meant to be put on this earth. Maybe it was a mistake, some sad joke someones playing on me to see how much pain I can handle. My brain does not work like the next person, something is switched off within me, something isn't right in my mind. I live in darkness, I keep getting weighed down by all this hurt and I can no longer keep treading on. I have a bottle of pills but I am waiting for the right time to take them. I can only take so much before I crumble. I feel like no one understands, they think I am overreacting. That's fine, you all can think that, I will do everyone a favor and leave this earth because I want no part in it whatsoever. I don't even want to be fixed, I don't want to get up, because I do not have the strength to get back up again. It's time for me to go, in the next few days. I wish I could just fade from everyone's memory so my departure would not cause any sadness upon my parents or boyfriend. I wish they would understand that finally I'll be at peace. Finally I'll be free of pain and where I'm meant to be. I want them to understand this was the best decision for me. I simply could not handle it anymore.