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So I just found out that this girl I loved was pregnant

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Pioneer, May 30, 2010.

  1. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    Damn man that hurts.

    I always looked forward to seeing her and her smile. She's young too, like 5 yrs younger than me, about 18-19. I known her since she was like 10 and I felt really comfortable around her. And I wanted to get to know her better now that I've graduated college. I felt that the graduation would put me 1up above all the other guys who obviously court her, she freakin gorgeous.

    But now that she's pregnant I don't want to be around her. I never even knew she was seeing anyone because she's never said anything about it and never told me. She's showing it now and thats how I found out. I'm terrified that she's being like alot of the other girls around here, like some of my cousins and their friends, and wanting a baby just to have a baby. I will still care somewhat about her but I refuse to have anything to do with her and her child. Even though the child is innocent and she is a very sweet girl I don't want someone else's child.

    I was really beginning to think that she was interested in me. She always had this beautiful smile on her when we met, she was very friendly with me when we spoke, and I felt really comfortable around her. I guess she was just happy to be pregnant. Gonna have to kill any emotions I have for her, like I've done for so many others.
  2. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    Looks like you dodged a bullet.
  3. empty101

    empty101 Well-Known Member

    You should feel the way you do.

    Once a girl has a baby she's off the radar. It's only in fair tales where the guy decides to go for her anyways.
  4. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    If it was with her then I'd probably have taken that bullet.
  5. Bubble

    Bubble Well-Known Member

    Hey, this is not true. There are men out there that are happy to have a relationship with a woman who has had a baby with another man.
  6. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    These replies are disgusting.
    Of course there are women who accidently get pregnant young or on one night stands and there are men that would love to be with them. Perhaps a man who can not have children of their own. If she is not with anyone then that probably means that her pregnancy was unplanned and that can be a terrifying thing. I am only 17 and have been with my boyfriend for 16 months, and we were using correct contraception as we did not wish to have a child, but even though we were using contraception. A condom AND the contraceptive pill. It doesn't work for everyone, and God has other plans. Unfortunately I lost my child, and I am sure when she found out she was pregnant she was terrified and in denial- like I was. But everything happens for a reason. And if she is visibly pregnant and happy, it is because when you are showing, you have had lots of time to get used to your pregnancy. And pregnancy truly is beautiful for a woman. You have to look at it from her eyes.

    And by the way. There is a thing a woman says when she has an unplanned pregnancy to a man she is not emotionally attached to- its called a Sperm Donor. And I am 100% that her baby will be absolutely beautiful and a gift from God.
    Don't look at the negative. Look at the positive:) If she is as beautiful as you say, then her child will be a little angel.

    I do feel for you though. It must hurt knowing the girl you love is pregnant to someone else. But that's the way life is baby. Unpredictable. But there is no need to cut yourself off from her or make assumptions.. Talk to her!!

    I wish you the best of luck :stars: xoxoxoxoxoxo
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    that was a beautiful reply :smile:
    i don't know OP, if you were head over heels in love with this girl, not only for how she looks and her smile but her-then her pregnancy wouldn't be that much of an issue.
  8. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Well said sweetheart! :biggrin:
    If you loved her, then you would love her for who she is. Not because of the way she physically appears. If you love her like you say- then her being pregnant right now would not affect your feelings.
  9. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    when you love someone you don't care about the size of the bullet you just take it
  10. kitanai

    kitanai Well-Known Member

    no man really wants to take care of another mans children
    if he cant have kids that dosent change
    he just settles for less
  11. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    not even if you loved that person? Sorry have to disagree if you truly love someone you would accept them for who and what they have.
  12. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Well actually that's what my uncle did. You fall inlove with the woman. It shouldn't matter if they have a child or not. And even my boyfriend agreed that saying something like "a woman who had a child to another man, but is single, is used goods" is a horrible thing to say.. even he agreed he wouldn't mind. Not everyone does. It happens all the time. With parents who remarry, maybe you have just been living in a bubble. You are entitled to your opinion, but do not tar every man with the same brush in the process thanks

  13. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    I completely agree with you :hugtackles: if you love someone, you love them. The child factor is no excuse.
  14. Brandon

    Brandon Well-Known Member

    I also have to disagree. If you love a girl enough, nothing matters but that. And there are guys out there that would like to give that child another father, just saying. Disregarding a woman just because you think she has "baggage" is wrong, if you really love a woman you love her for every aspect of herself, including her past, children, whatever. Just my two cents..
  15. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    It seems I'm getting a lot of replies from women who say that it shouldn't really matter that she has a kid. I'm sorry to say but the fact that she is pregnant changes everything. I am slowly killing off all feelings that I had for her and distancing my self. We all know that it takes two to have a child so she obviously has someone else. It is a waste of my time and hers to come between her, her child, and the child's father. Even if she is single I am not the child's father and have no place in that child's world. Even if I do care for her I have to put myself before her and leave.

    I know a lot of you girls are saying that I should keep the lines of communication open but it really feels like there is no place for fathers or stepfathers with these girls. Every young mother that I know (cousins, sister's friends, and friends) are all single and "independent". They put out a vibe that they don't need a man to be happy and that makes it harder for us to get close. I really hope that everything works out for her but from my experience young mothers usually end up single and independent. But I cannot get involved with her and her family because it will be extremely painful for me.
  16. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Actually it was 2 men and 2 women who disagreed with you. I can understand it is hurting you but this thread is really disrespectful to teenage mothers and in my opinion, it should be closed. Not all teenage mothers are single and independent. My mum was a teenage mum.. and her and her boyfriend stayed together. Got married. And had 2 more children. Yeah my dad.. it does work out for many of the women :blink:
    If you two were close, dont cut off all contact. Because that would upset her. And if she is pregnant- she will be hormonal and angry anyway...

    Hope you do what is best for you.:hugtackles:
    and her. x
  17. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry if I made it seem that I think that all teenage mothers are single. That was from my experience and I did state that. And as for cutting contact with her, I have to put myself before her. She already has the support of her family so she really doesn't need me.