So I met this girl....

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Maaso, May 31, 2009.

  1. Maaso

    Maaso Well-Known Member

    I dont know how to approach her.

    She has been working for my mum for a few months now, and one of my lady friends knows her real well. Apparently she is a HIGHLY devout Christian, which I dont have a problem with.

    To her, I'm just the guy who comes in the store 2 minutes after closing to buy a Vault. I dont know, shes pretty, she has a plan on what she wants to do with her life, she has faith in something.

    Now, I've been out of the dating game since my ex left me and aborted my kid back on February, I've gotten around since then...just nothing more. I'm really self conscinece, and I'm scared to make a move.

    Any ideas on how I should go about doing this?
  2. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    Just try talking to her... becoming friends. Don't hit on her... just be friends and see what if anything develops!! Just say hi, and start talking about whatever... no pressure or anything. Then maybe go to lunch or something, as friends... let it build slowly... if something is meant to happen, it will! Don't try to force it!
  3. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    briguy gave you great advice

    she sounds very nice, and so do you : )

    i do think bri is spot on - re just be yourself, talk to her, try to make friends and if there is any 'connection' or chemistry . . . it will be very apparent.

    and. . . . most importantly . . . let us know what happens : )
  4. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    I'm going to disagree strongly with the advice you've gotten so far. Do NOT move slow. Because if you do, while you're taking your time, some other guy will come along and not take his time. And there you'll be slamming your head into the wall over and over screaming "Why? Why? Why didn't I just ask her out?!" Ask. Ask now. Even if she says no you'll feel better that you tried and you know where you stand. If you wait you'll lose out and hate yourself for it.
  5. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Agree with the second and third posts on this one. Especially since you're self-conscious as you stated. Take it slow. They didn't say..."say hello to her and then don't say anything for 6 weeks." They just suggested a slower approach. If you ask her out right away and getted knocked down, it might make you feel worse.
  6. Samsara

    Samsara Well-Known Member

    Just be gregarious...well be yourself lol. If she isn't attracted to "yourself" then it will never work...but yeah, take it at a comfy, but steady pace. Get friendlier everyday and eventually ask her for a more personal encounter :)
  7. wibble

    wibble Well-Known Member

    Think of it like this.

    Your not dating her at the moment, consiquently your not together.
    The worst thing she can say is no, consiquently your not together.

    So by doing nothing, your walking into the worst possible outcome.

    Is that something you really deserve?

    What you need to do is the following:

    1: Realise she is JUST a girl. She eats, shits and sleeps same as you do. Pull her down off that pedistal you've got her on and talk to her like you would any of your friends.
    2: Realise its not about wether she should like you, but its about wether you should like her.
    3: Realise that you are good enough, you are smart enough, you are funny enough and she'd be lucky to have you.
    4: Grab your balls and just ask her out. Job done.

    PM'd you a link to a thing you might find useful.
  8. Maaso

    Maaso Well-Known Member

    She didn't work last night, so I didnt get my chance. Tonight I will though, I will go in early, drink my Vault and talk to her. I'll just ask her how her nights going, and let her know that I can run anything in that store and if she needs help I can help her. Or would that make me seem to into bascally telling her I can run anything there and do it better than she can.

    Usually I just go in, dont even say anything. Get my drink, pay for it, say good bye and leave. So if I stick around and talk, she will know something is up. If she ignores me should I not push it and make my way for the door.

    I just...I dont know how this works anymore.
  9. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    If she actually IGNORES you if you just start up casual conversation, then yes, I would leave and forget about her... because is she can be that rude to anyone, you don't want her! The important thing is be yourself... just be calm!

    And as for going slow, not going slow... what I meant by not going slow was don't just go up and say "hey I like you, wanna go back to my place and fuck!" That is TOO much! But I am NOT saying sit on your ass for months!! Yes, talk to her, befriend her and if she responds positively to conversation and friendship, then you can move forward... and again, I am not saying you have to wait months! Just don't "pounce" on her... she will freak!

    So yeah... just say hi, ask her how her day is going... talk about whatever... ask her about music, movies, WHATEVER... just talk... get a conversation going! You never know... once she opens her mouth, you may find that you don't like her at all!! That does happen!! :laugh: And as was said... don't worry about if she likes you... worry about if you really like her... if she is worth your time & energy! Conversation will help determine that!

    Good luck!! :biggrin:
  10. Maaso

    Maaso Well-Known Member

    I should have asked my lady friends more about here...apparently she is married. But she dont wear a ring, so I thought she was just saying it to blow me off, she even told me it kind of sarcastically. But my lady friend pulled up her Myspace thingy. If even says on there that she is married, and she is hanging all over some guy with a guy with green teeth.

    So I dont know...I feel like an asshole for it all for some reason.