...And they are just so happy together, even with all the drama that comes with a serious high school relationship. They sit next to each other in Chemistry and Health class, and they just seem so happy. All i want is a relationship like that, for someone to reciprocate my feelings for once, and whenever I see the two of them I just get so down. I mean, I'm a junior in high school, and the farthest I've gone with a girl is grinding at a dance. Pathetic. Not only that, but my first time with that was two weeks ago and with a FRESHMAN! *Le Facepalm* I mean, yeah I was high as a kite, but that doesnt excuse the fact that I grinded with a freshman for two hours! So yeah, that's as much as I've ever gotten, and all I can think about is how happy my friend is while I'm usually third wheeling or some shit. A lot of the time I feel like the sidekick, doomed to forever be within reach of something, but never able to get a proper grip on it. The worst part is how the girl I love is completely oblivious to it, and I'm completely unable to express it at all without being humiliated. She's pretty straight-edge, while I'm just some stoner who tags along every tuesday for lunch in the band room. God only knows how much I love her, but she's so far out of reach. I'm starting to think that I'm more in love with the idea of her, not her. But I don't feel like this for any other girl I know, so I honestly have no fucking clue what I should do. And don't even get me started on prom. Fuck that shit. Everyone's running around with these elaborate schemes to ask their respective partners to prom, and where am I during all of this? Smoking dope and wishing I wasn't so alone. My friend asked his girlfriend by arranging lit candles in her driveway to spell out 'PROM?' and now she has it set to her background on her cell phone. Always the romantic, he is. Bastard. And the girl I like is going with a senior who I know, he's nice but I'm still a jealous little bastard so I see him as little more than competition, which is a sure sign of immaturity. I mean, the guys in drum line (she's the only girl) always give her so much shit, being so vulgar and rude to her (always joking of course) and I always want to punch them in the face for saying shit like that to her. I can't, because not only would that be overreacting (slightly) but it would also put me in a bad spot as to why I punched a kid in the face, so I'll have to explain how I feel and such, which is bad in case you didn't know. Guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm fucking lonely and I hate it. Good day.