So I tried to kill myself, and something happened

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by createdforopinion, Oct 30, 2009.

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  1. createdforopinion

    createdforopinion Active Member

    I actually really did <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>.

    I can't explain how profound this is. I feel completely different. I have now decided to work my way out of my slump. I've decided to better my self physically and emotionally and mentally, and soon I will be seeing a therapist or something. I'm going to get through this and come out stronger and live my life. This is surreal.

    I talked to my two best friends online, who I haven't spoken to for nearly 7 months, and confessed everything. I came clean.

    Everything is going to be different from now on. I called my mom and told her all this, and for the first time felt comfortable saying 'I love you'. I just feel like life really isn't over for me yet, not this way. I'm going to soldier on and improve on every aspect of my life in order to continue and live the life of a normal person. I'm gonna take it slow because I've been completely isolated for so long, and I need to take it slow and re-assimilate myself into society.

    And I have to say, a very sincere thank you to everyone here. I love you all. The support I have gotten on here must have gotten to me sub consciously or something.

    I'm lost for words.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 30, 2009
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Wow! Is all I can say and how I'm very proud of you for all of this - even though we don't know each other. I think it takes immense courage to say 'I am going to change my life, I am going to fight this'.

    You'll definitely be an inspiration to many on here.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I had to edit your post to take out the mention of methods. But I'm really glad you're still here, and that you've reached out and made the decision to talk to your mom and your friends.
  4. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    That is great! I was just wondering whether you couldn't try and explain what happened to make you suddenly feel like that, simply because it might help a lot of others here to get some insight into it?
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    That is truly wonderful. And yes please take it slowly. One day at a time. I can only imagine how you feel, knowing you have your life ahead of you, absolutely euphoric! But dont get too far ahead of yourself. Take things slowly so that you dont become overwhelmed and find yourself tiring out. I'm so happy to see that the site and the members helped you. I hope that the members that helped you feel some happiness in knowing that they were able to make a difference. A "good feeling" post for all involved I'd say. Now keep moving forward. And please keep us posted. A post like yours is a beam of sunlight in so much darkness!!! You should be very proud and happy.
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That is so great! I'm sorry it had to come to that for the change, but it's good that you want to make things better now :thumbup:
  7. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I experienced a change too. My whole outlook on stuff changed.

  8. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    I'm proud of you.
  9. chooselife

    chooselife Well-Known Member

    That is EXACTLY what happened to me!
  10. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    You're welcome ^__^ .

    Unfortunately, I don't think I'm going to be around much longer, either in this community or in life. I can't take it anymore. The darkness is eating me, violently. I'm going to try my very best to kill myself if I turn 30 and things are the same. I turn 30 soon. Forgive me. I can't take it anymore. I've hurt too many people. I'm a ghost now, please, please don't let this affect you, march on soldier, forget about me - I'm in Hell...please carry on stay super strong ^__^ I'm dying inside mate...
  11. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Awesome.It is a good demon to beat and great to see ya got the strength.This experience should make ya stronger wish ya all the best.
  12. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    createdforopinion, I'm very glad to hear that. You've achieved something that, for too many of us, seems like an impossible dream. Best of luck!
  13. createdforopinion

    createdforopinion Active Member

    Thank you all again for your kind words.

    I have been taken things slowly, and I'm gradually climbing my way back to the top of life, and it may feel strange and foreign at first, because I don't think I've ever been there.

    And I hope this profound change can happen for all of you on here who are/were just like me, ready to end it all. And I will probably never know what that change was, but it came from knowing that I was seconds away from actually dying. And in that instant I knew that there was so much more to do in life, and that if I really work at it, I can start anew and become a stronger person who will be able to deal with the harshness of life in the future.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    that im sure is a great feeling for you to be experiencing.
    sometimes we are lucky enough to meet and greet reality and realize there are ways to cope. for me, the last time i snapped, i came to realise its up to me to make things happen. i had to change the way i think. i came to realize i was the one sitting doing nothing as the world turned everyday.
    we will have our bad days, but the idea is to make them fewer and not lasting as long as they used to. my days have changed in just such a manner.

    great steps you have taken. keep steppin out.
  15. pileofgarbage

    pileofgarbage Member

    Lots of people have had sudden good days and smeared a lot of
    optimism around. Wait six months. You'll be back here. Depression doesn't let go so easily.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    well pileofgarbage, thats what changes i made. to not think like that. we have to take what comes as it comes. i know some days will be hard, but its how you deal with them that makes the differance.
    to each his own.
  17. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    Sorry about that, I'm doing better now.
  18. createdforopinion

    createdforopinion Active Member

    I know that I'll never completely rid myself of depression, I'm thinking it'll stay with me for the next few years, at least. The change that I had was about thinking and working towards a goal, to keep on living and advancing in life, instead of not doing anything and letting myself rot. For instance, I'm thinking about getting in great shape and joining the army within the year. Maybe. I'll never know what I really want to do, unfortunately.
  19. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Just take it one day at a time my friend.
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