So I Was Walking Down The Road One Day..

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Godsdrummer, Oct 13, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    ...and smack dab in front of me appeared a mountain.

    Oh I tried to walk around it, but it was too far.
    I tried to push it out of the way, but it was too heavy.
    I tried to climb over it, but it was too high.
    I am tired, so tired of trying.

    I need my car fixed. I need to have money.
    I want to drink so badly, I feel like if I dont get a drink now, I will surely explode.
    I do feel like a ticking timebomb. Ready to go off, at any moment.

    I do have faith and find comfort in that. (Dont want to and can't let this get religious).

    I can't be the person I need to be. I have tried for 42 years to be strong.
    I am too tired to go on trying.

    I just wish I could go to bed. And sleep for more than 6 hours without getting a back ache.

    I am starting to ramble.

    Existing, not living, that's what I do.
  2. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    What can I say Bill? I'm so sorry you are feeling like this, all that come to mind are platitudes and I expect you've had a gut full of those too.

    Maybe rambling is exactly what you need to do, instead of having to fight and control all the time. Give in to feeling shit just for a little bit, tell it on here, maybe that will release some of that mounting pressure?

  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I stopped being strong and I let God take over. It has been a very big relief for me. Some days, I just exist as well.

  4. SuicideIsTheWrongOption

    SuicideIsTheWrongOption Well-Known Member

    As one of my teachers used to say (ex-military):

    There's no problem that can't be solved with the proper ammount of TNT.
    course this only helps you with your mountain problem...and possibly your car.

    Either way, i tried to be strong, and i was for the longest time. Then i stopped and tried to get help, i'm gonna see how it goes. But getting help really does take a load off (even if it doesn't make you feel better, it makes life a bit easier).
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