So incredibly upset

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Malmo, Sep 1, 2016.

  1. Malmo

    Malmo Member

    My boyfriend and I met online on a game called Furcadia. We started out only knowing each other's pixels there, but after a while of having talked with one another via that method and skype, we finally met in person. I was living in North Carolina at the time, he in Texas. Needless to say, we fell in love. And I moved down to Texas with him, but due to the fact that we didn't have a house of our own to move in, we've been living with his parents. As of today, it would be near seven months that we have been living together in his parent's house. I had two cats, but since his father is deathly allergic, I wasn't able to bring them with me. I didn't mind that too much honestly, because I had family in North Carolina who said they'd watch my two for me until we found a place. Well, months later, I get word that they are rehoming my cats. This stressed me out a great deal, but there was also trouble brewing in the online community that he and I decided to join after I moved in with him. Just recently, he got a two-week ban from the community for having flown off the cuff at some situations. I'm generally one that will take a step back when I feel myself about to go overboard, and I'll look at the situation from a different point of view so that I can see all sides. I was allowed to stay within the community during his two-week ban. But recently, more things have been happening, and I actually was caught up in drama myself. This was the first and only time I ever went to the admin to discuss it, but I felt nothing was actually being done to rectify the situation. My boyfriend saw this, and again flew off the cuff. I am extremely sensitive to others emotions, and this second time that he blew his lid, I blew up as well. And I did something I shouldn't have. Now we both are not only banned from that community, but also another which we never actually interacted with any of the players in. And I feel due to his reckless actions, it is going to continue to spiral downward. He's not just hurting himself, he's hurting the one he loves. And I just don't know what to do anymore.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hugs. What about talking to a counsellor with your boyfriend?
  3. moxman

    moxman The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat

    Thank you for joining us here at SF. I personally look forward to hearing about you and what has brought you to this corner of the web. I invite you to read my personal story below in green and just know you are not the only in pain. You are not the only one suffering. Everyone here is fighting their own battles. While you are here, you are safe. No one will harass you or insult you in any manner. That BS is not tolerated here. I hate to hear that you are suicidal. You must have a lot of stuff going on in your life for you to feel this way. Do you know why we feel suicidal? (I am suicidal too, btw) If you don't know would you like for me to explain it to you? I want you to promise me that if you ever feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself, you will take yourself to the nearest ER, and get the help you need. There is no shame in getting help.

    I would personally love to hear more about you. What are your dreams? What do you want out of life? What issues do you think , you need help with? How can we help you get into a better place?

    Feel free to PM/IM me anytime if you just want to chat or want to talk about something in a private manner.

    Take Care
  4. moxman

    moxman The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat

    What part of NC are you from? I am in Gastonia, small town around Charlotte.
  5. Malmo

    Malmo Member

    @Rockclimbinggirl I am highly considering that, because he is an Ex-Marine and I'm fairly certain he has PTSD issues... not from fighting, but from previous relationships.

    @moxman I will definitely keep that in mind. Things have been rather stressful especially since the move. And majority of my stuff is still in North Carolina. I won't state where I lived before in NC, because my parents are still there. But, I can at least state it's in the Mountains. As for my suicidal thoughts, I much rather not getting into them. I'm generally actually a happy person. But, I am self-diagnosed after the relationship before the man I'm currently with. The guy before him was also a former coworker. I more than like would more be open to talk about it privately, but at the current moment, I also have other friends in my day-to-day life that are helping me through it as well.
  6. moxman

    moxman The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat

    That is perfectly fine. I am really happy that you have friends in your life that can help you. All I want is for guys to be happy.

    I have also been diagnosed with PTSD.

    Have you guys thought about possibly anger management classes for him? He seems to get upset a lot, and those classes would help him avoid that from happening.

    Since your boyfriend is a former Marine, is there a VA nearby that he can receive help at for free?

    Have you guys been banned from your game permanently ? Or just for a length of time?

    Don't be afraid to reach out for help. We are here to help you.

    Take Care
  7. Malmo

    Malmo Member

    He had a temporary ban from the community once... but I don't think he learned his lesson. This was the first time I've ever been banned from that specific community... but due to his actions, which I am currently trying to get in contact with the person all of this was directed toward, she banned us both. I know him permanently, but my friends are acting as middle-men to try to relay my message. And I'm not certain where the closest VA is, but I'm trying to find out.
  8. Malmo

    Malmo Member

    I have been allowed back into the community. The boyfriend, however, has not, and will not be informed that I've been allowed back in. He brought this on himself. I'm guessing this is actually a happy story now. Also, I will be going to an anime convention in October with my best friend. I haven't told the boyfriend yet, but he is going to be staying here for the duration of my trip. I feel we need some time apart. I still love him, but I want to go out and do my own thing, have my own fun. I'll be flying out to meet my friend as well. She lives in/close to the city where we will be. My heart is lighter now that I am back in the community though, and we have started up our own community as well. Unfortunately for the boyfriend, I'm not allowing him to join our community due to some issues that he tried to start up with my friend and myself. He kind of started to act like a 2-year-old when we simplified something he had done in an overly complex manner.
  9. moxman

    moxman The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat

    Good luck with everything. Have fun at the convention.
  10. Malmo

    Malmo Member

    Well, I'm doing a lot better. I moved back home with my family, and am doing a lot better.