So it happened

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ~PinkElephants~, Jan 16, 2007.

  1. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    So, for those of you that know somewhat of my situation at the moment, I decided to grow a pair(even though I'm female) and confront my brother with my father there. THey came home and i took them both aside and told him shit wasn't fair anymore and I was breaking. I'm in tears and this is what I said:

    me: i can't do this anymore. it's not fair that i buy food for dylan and i and other people eat it all. i dont make a lot of money and I spend it on feeding a child that's not mine which is fucked up. I clean up after everyone, i am eveyrone's bitch.
    my brother: i didn't eat your food..i dont know whats going on. Here's ten dollars..go buy more food

    me: i dnt wnat your money..i want shit to change

    my dad: take the money kelly

    i grab the money and throw it at my brother and i say wtf is 10 dollars gonna do me. make up for 5 years of you walking all over me. FUCK THAT!

    How can 10 dollars make up for 5 years of me being everyone's doormat? It can't and it won't and it aggravates me that for the first time i take a stand and that's the shit i get. so now im sitting here contemplating my self worth b/c apparently i'm shit if the peopele that are supposed to love me don't recognize what theya re doing to me. So fuck it right, take em and swallow em and make it better..thats how i ffeel so whatever..fuck my feelings shove them aside..they mean crap anyways.
  2. bipolarkitty

    bipolarkitty Well-Known Member

    They know what they're doing to you. And they don't want you to change. That's why they acted like that.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Kitty is spot on there Kelly. You know they have it easy while you're there, they leave all the worrying and stuff that needs doing to you.
    If you walked away the lazy good for nothings would fall apart.

    No way should you let these bums make you feel bad or less than you are.
    Without you they'd be fucked!!!!

    :flowers: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

    ps:sorry I didnt answer on msn it was 6.30am here and when you said you'd lost I thought you meant at poker. Sorry hun!!:sad:
  4. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    it maybe that they were just shocked by what you said and didn't know how to react, try having another (calmer) conversation with them, once things have settled down. Don't just tell them that things have to change, explain what is wrong, give examples, tell them what it is doing to you, and tell them what has got to change and how, be very calm but don't relent, give them an ultimatum, tell them you'll leave if they don't buck up their ideas.
  5. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Couldnt agree more
  6. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    How many do I have to take to make it go away...i mean really next step is just to swallow the whole damn bottle, and i knwo that's not what people want to hear but I woke up this morning after taking about 8 pills and I literally cried when I opened my eyes. I want it over with, i want it done, i am "supposed" to talk to someone professional for the first time in 10 years but I don't think that talking will help at all in the end. Talking gets a person no where. I'm tired of words, of hearing "it'll get better" because it hasn't gotten better. i'm tired of hearing "you need ot leave" when I have no means to leave, no money, no place to go, no car, and I WILL NOT leave dylan to self destruct because he's precious and he's what's kept me here so long. I will not leave that little boy to suffer and whether or not people understand that at all I don't give a shit anymore. You don't understand at 6 years old what that child has been through. He beat the crap out of his dad the other day crying and said, "I hate you daddy you won't let me see my mommy until I'm 18 and it's all your fault" Than he came to me the next day and said "you take care of me more than daddy, you love me more, you're like my mommy" I CANNOT walk away from that and i know he's not my son, trust me I know this. BUT I am the closest thing he hs to a mother and if that means I self destruct in the process of making sure he's loved and taken care of then I shall's not bother to me anyways b/c im dead inside anyways. So to those who tried to make it better thanks but you can't make my brother be a man and you can't make people here see that I'm not okay and I'm not the perfect daughter. So bare down and deal with me!!