so its settled

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Cpt-Fantastic, Jan 7, 2011.

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  1. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    just lost everything and am now in debt to my brother, im 20 and havent graduated high school, i used to come from up high and had alot of potential so the fall adds even more fun to it and i dont change. that settles it, i am a disgrace to mankind and should erase myself out of the genepool. oh and im fat, and had a long time internetfriend i thought was my future spouse (what an idiot right) and she decided she rather watches cartoons at home than hang out with me, so its all good. i am useless and futureless and should therefor die, fuck it was a long painful road. but luckily the end is near
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2011
  2. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    care to talk?
    u erase urself from the gene pool by not having kids dont worry....
    i also feel i dont belong in it but than neither do so many others ..... some multiply like amibas though :/
     
  3. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    crazy thing is i actually wanted kids, but fuck that. who would have me, i only believe that the girls i've dated for the last 6 months wanted me for my money, now that is gone, what is left. 6"4 of misery it seems
     
  4. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    I'm almost exactly like you, and I feel like you a lot of the time..I've gone through what you've gone through
    but I recently I've realized
    you have to live for yourself, and love yourself, and try to be happy/accepting..and then literally everything transforms..literally everything is amazing, even the stressors are less threatening
    it took a long time to get here....
    sometimes you just have to say: fuck you to all the people that screwed you over, and move on
    and be confident
    and dance around your house naked..yep..I recommend that
     
  5. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    but thats the thing, nobody screwed me over, i did it all to myself. so i should fix it all to myself, i need to find a way to reimburse my brother and ill be ready, thinking about taking a life insurance and xxxx or something
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2011
  6. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    lol i walk naked when no one is arround :hamster:
    excuse my loonyness
     
  7. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    is it a business thing u lost the money too?
     
  8. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    edit: it didnt matter
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2011
  9. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    wow thats nuts XD
    did u also win the first sums with betting?
    i have no idea what to say
    guess its more a personality issues am shure u could live till a next win maybe tring something less risky...
    edit : oh to late i read :p
     
  10. Youth

    Youth Active Member

    When I was 18 & 19 I was throwing money (credit) around like it was nothing. I still have to pay that off and have nothing to show for it. I still owe around $9,000. I got in dept two years ago and haven't spent any credit since. But, now I'm in college and am making moves to make my life better. I've built myself up from that hole I was in and am pursuing fine arts. I believe you can do it too and when you build yourself up again you'll be like "Dang, I can't believe I brought myself out of that." It'll make you feel accomplished, but it's no easy road. Hopefully, you can make it. Just work work work. And one day you'll get where you want to go.
     
  11. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    :lol!: lo fucking l, you seem cool. too bad i have to go and die so suddenly but hey, i dont know if you believe in reincarnation, but if you ever get a collect call from a cow in india, please accept the charges :wink:
     
  12. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    wow i admire your hard work, i just have wasted enough time there is no progress, im isolating myself from everyone and hopefully go peacefully. i cant even speak my mind clearly, its all one fog with word spaghetti i used to be able to depict and define now it seems i cant even seem to get my goddamn thoughts straight
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2011
  13. Youth

    Youth Active Member

    I've isolated myself too. It doesn't seem fun from the outside-in, but after living with these problems of mine I've learned to succeed in other facets of my life. I mean, I have no social life now, none. I sit in my parents house all day and write and read and watch indy flicks. If I had the friends I used to have I wouldn't be able to do this. And I still waste a lot of time just daydreaming. Trust me, I've spent whole days just sitting and dreaming. Sounds pointless. But, in life it's necessary for some individuals to live like this, this miserable existence only brought to fruition in their dense thoughts. Similar to me, you may find that your "aloneness" is necessary is this society. You may find a "niche" for your cycling thoughts.

    On SF someone will understand you, more than likely. Just remember that your situation is different from those around you.
     
  14. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    wow, i thought i was the only one. i had a place on my own but had to move back into my parents for cash problems, now i usually just sit at home on the couch sitting behind the computer f5┬┤ing news or doing something useless. and movies too, ive watched ice station zebra 30 times or something, luckily my parents usually live in another house (this one's for sale) so i can isolate myself completely, damn if we didnt live so far apart, we could totally watch movies all day and drink and shit, man congruence with the outside world is something i completely lack for the time being, there needs to be an end to this either i change or i die
     
  15. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    things are really bad, ive told about the problems i currently have but on top of that the only thing that i always had what i really relied on was my brain and now that is malfunctioning too. i feel insane, i feel like i cant get my thoughts straight, it feels like a flu between my ears, im riding a continuous emotional roller coaster, i cant focus and the only time when i am happy and what seems to get my thoughts straight is how weird it may sound alcohol. i saw recently that alcohol provides alot of different 'benefits' it makes you focused(its a sort of ritalin) it makes you happier (a sort of xanax) and it helps you sleep (barbituate) among the addictiveness and the other negative effects there have to be real drugs i could be treated with, why doesnt nobody help me in this, ive even went to the doctor i went there the guy looks at me like im being a pussy, some kind of hypochondriac, ive been on waiting list for add since februari last year, i told my psychologist im having depressions, i went to a psychiater but nobody does anything, i heard they gave out loads of antidepressents even though people dont need them damn i need something i cant go on like this, the only thoughts i have is about ending it all. i wish i could prescribe something to myself to at least try something and it would be anonymous, if i hadnt lost all my money i would have bought some online but now what should i do where can i go, i need help. any suggestions?

    p.s. besides having no money left, at least i do have health insurance could that help? is there a way come on im dieing here, i do nothing but lie on the couch starting up the laptop and wasting time diein away on my parents couch getting fat and doing nothing and cant man fuck i cant even write this without being a complete pansy and dreary about anything i cant stop, feeling a mania coming up. shoot me
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 9, 2011
  16. Youth

    Youth Active Member

    Try to get outside more often. There are times I know when I feel bad, so I just go walking outside, even if it's really cold, and I'm just kind of well...better. It might make you feel better if you went on some walks, or better yet, some runs. Their is something about unhindered oxygen that causes euphoria (at least, in my case). You could also window shop or make snow angels:yay:. If you're quirky certain other quirky people may gravitate to you - this result is always FUN! Maybe that'll help. Hope I could help.
     
  17. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    i cant control my brain, i wanna be sedated before i go insane.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 9, 2011
  18. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    never mind, who cares anyway. its just me
     
  19. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    what should i what can i why the fuck damn
     
  20. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    fuck i have no clue what im waiting for, when do you go is there a light is there a sound is there a clue or should you just go
     
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