The last 6 years of my life has been going down a giant hill. One bad thing after another. A never ending trail of bad luck. Sometimes I catch myself being depressed about nothing at all. Moments when I should be happy. I'm not. But I found solution to that problem. Alcohol and Sleeping pills. It's not easy for me to get my hands on Alcohol at 19, but sleeping pills I can get. I'm a mild believer in god. but lately it's sorta been hard to believe. I guess this is where that "he will test you" comes in. But I've never heard of a test lasting 5-6 years. I just can't handle it anymore. I get a job and things seems to look brighter at the end of the tunnel, but the business gets shut down and relocated to a different state before I even have a chance to get my first pay check. I'm tired of trying. No life seems a lot easier then living life. No one would miss me, this I know for a fact. I've never talked to anyone about this ever. Until I found this site while searching for the most successful ways of committing suicide. so I thought at least some one should know why I did what I did, that's outside of family.