So lonely

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by zoebaby, Feb 20, 2008.

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  1. zoebaby

    zoebaby Well-Known Member

    I am so lonely right now... noone to talk to, it is so hard when there is noone to talk... and i hate feeling like this, my life was never like this before. I dont know if it's because i am a single mom, are single mom's isolated like I am? when my son was younger we used to go to mcdonald's, to the park.... now he is a teen, and he never want's to do anything.. I have no friend's.. still.. they all moved two months ago, all at one time. that is so hard when you are used to having people to talk to and then noone.. This quiet town does not help either, it is driving me crazy, but when I talk about going back to california my son has a fit, i just can't win. I think about killing myself a lot lately, I wonder the best way to do it, i try to think of a sure way of doing it that is painless and fool proof, no more lonliness, that would be so nice. There is no way I can live the rest of my life in this small boring town, I would rather die. and my family is here but they ignore me, i guess it is fun for them to ignore me. I hope my piece of c*** father feel's good about the way that he has treated me since I have been here, if i ever get out of here i will NEVER come back, i will never let them hurt me again.
  2. zetaf

    zetaf Well-Known Member

    :( I'm sorry you're feeling this way... it's hard for me to really understand your situation because I am a 20 year old single male, but I definitely understand loneliness and sympathize with you. My friends recently moved away together too.

    Perhaps you should try to get a part-time job to keep busy and meet new people (if you have time for one). Maybe you should look into being a lunch monitor at an elementary school or something... sounds like something that might brighten your day since you seem to miss when your son was younger.

    Also remember, suicide would just hurt your family. Even if your son doesn't show it, I'm sure he loves you... teenage years are just complicated. Maybe you should try to understand your son as he is rather than trying to bring the kid out that you once knew. Perhaps he is just growing up a bit faster than you can perceive.
  3. unreal23

    unreal23 Member

    It sounds like your son is being a bit selfish and not thinking of your happiness. I'm sure he will get over the fact of you moving once you make the decision to go through with it :) What's stopping you from moving elsewhere aside from him? I would say a better life elsewhere is certainly a better alternative than taking your own life!
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm sorry that your son doesn't want to spend time with you anymore zoebaby. But that's kind of how teenage guys are. They don't really like spending time with their mom, because their friends might call them a 'mammas boy.' Don't take it as a personal insult. He still loves you and needs you in his life. Please don't hurt yourself. You need a support system in your town to help you when your feeling down.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    If you need to move in order to survive, your son will have to learn to cope with the move. Sometimes we have to do what is best for us. Children can adapt. I am certain he would adapt better to a move than to the loss of his mother. :hug:
  6. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    ending your life isn't the way zoe, making a fresh start somewhere else sounds a good idea or maybe just starting over where you are.

    whatever you decide your son will just have to deal with it, put yourself first hun.
    i know what being lonely is like and i must admit that most of it was down to me just not getting back out there and doing stuff, even if it was on my own.

    loneliness just keeps on going round and round, you get used to just being on your own yet hating it at the same time but its hard to break the circle, yet break it you must.

    al i ever did was since my depression was go to work where i hardly spoke then come back to an empty house and done nothing.
    now i force myself to speak, go and see friends or just anyone. go for a drive and i even started dating again.

    things can change, believe me, but its got to start with you coz no one will do it for you.

    take care and stay safe

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