so lonely

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by majin, May 28, 2009.

  1. majin

    majin New Member

    A few days ago I went to a prom, it was a really happy occasion. I went with my gf and we sat with her friends. I didn't know her friends since I went to a different school. And this is pretty much why I was lonely the whole night. She went with her friends to take pictures and seeing as everyone knew each other except me I decided to stay and watch the tables by myself.

    My gf felt bad that she left me alone by myself because other people kept coming to me and asked me to take their pictures for them. That night I wasn't in any group photos, but I ended up taking the group photos. My gf really wanted me to join in with them but how could I when I didn't know anyone, let alone did they bother to wave to me when I said hi.

    Anyways, now it was time for dance and I didn't know how to dance so I told my gf she could dance with her friends. I kept feeling bad for turning down her offer to dance with her friends since it sort of was supposed to be our night. We did do all the slow dances though. But I ended up sitting down while everyone else danced.

    It really is my fault for not being a better person and to go out and have fun, but I really wanted for people to acknowledge me most. For the past few years at prom I've always been the one to watch the table and crap like that. Even at other events such as a convention and stuff. I'm always the one being left behind. When I'm with other people, they always talk amongst themselves and I can never join in because I don't know who/what they're talking about. When I ask who/what they're talking about they answer me in one sentence they look at each other and start talking again. I feel that I'm always the one who's just there to sit there. It's not that I don't try, it's probably because I'm uninteresting to talk to. I'm not though, talk about something that I do know of and I can ramble on and on, whenever I'm the one talking I involve everyone or talk about something we all can talk about. I spend most of the days waiting for people when I want to meet up, and I'm always the one to walk behind people as they talk. It hurts so much/
     
  2. NotSureAnymore

    NotSureAnymore Well-Known Member

    That sucks hon. I'm sorry you feel that way. I feel the same exact way when I'm around other family members, other than my mum, dad, and sis. It's like when I try to involve myself in their convo, they look at me like I'm stupid. And that make's me feel stupid. I feel alienated.. so I end up saying nothing. When I'm around my friends, I'm my true self and I never feel awkward.

    My small circle of friends always cheer me up. I hope you can find something to make you smile tomorrow.