I am so lonely. Talked with people the last few days, so now being without is worse. Richard Bach said anyone can get used to being alone, but if you break that for one day, you have to start all over getting used to it. I want a real person here I can call and hang out with. Someone I feel safe with. I also want to lose 30 pounds. It is disgusting how much weight I am gaining. Wish it were winter so I could hide in my big sweatshirts. Maybe I really just want to totally withdraw. Headed to pdoc, where she will likely just up the dosage on the fifth antidepressant I've tried. I'd rather just give up and taper off all together. I'm sick of being defective.