I don't know exactly when, but I'm definitely going to die. By suicide, sooner or later. I'm so lost as in complete lack of hope, not knowing how to cope with my terrible anxiety issues. I've never been this down. I can't get back up, I can't. So shy to talk to anyone about it. And it's not like it's a big deal anyways. I die, my parents will get over it, in a week or two. And they'll probably tell my younger sisters I moved or something. I'm lost. lost. so lost. Hopeless. Just wanna sleep. Sleep through it all, but that's not possible. I'm done. Let me off this planet, please. I've descended into alcoholism. Vodka is my only friend. But I know, it's not gonna be my friend in the long run. It only brings on more anxiety. I don't know how to cope anymore. Every day is a nightmare. Ugh. Thanks for reading my rambles.