So low its scary wont make it this time!

its only the beggining and already im suicidal i dont want to do this, im scared, im totally alone theres no one i can turn to and im lost, what else is there other than ending it, i will feel like this on and off for the rest of my life i have for 23 years and im tired and always will be. my family deny everything and wont speak to me becasue (there child cant have mental health) they say its to hard for THEM, yes and its a box of roses for me i love every minit! not!

my mom told me once it would be better if i was gone then she wouldnt have to worry about when i was gunna end it becasue she knows im going to. that was when id just came out of hospital and was vulnerable and just needed a hug and to be told elisha your going to be ok im here. but my mother no couldnt wait to get me back home and get rid.

mental health workers dnt know and dont care whats wrong with me so yes all doors shut, even meds dont work so i cant do this im mentally and physically tired and i dont know where to turn. actuallly theres no where to turn and no one to turn to so!?????

 

Am assuming you have gone the whole med and therapy route?
Do you have any idea what brought on this deep depression?

As to family, often a family member will appear angry when really what they are is deeply afraid.
I'm sorry to say my own mother has reacted badly over an attempt in my past, now I just don't say anything.
Welcome to the forum and I hope you find some comfort here :hug:

 

hello and welcome!

family often say and do the wrong things. I think that for many people, I would say most people, bad parenting and abuse are a big part of being suicidal in the first place

I'm sorry that you haven't been given the support that you need. It's not true though that there's no one to turn to, because there's us.

A lot of people have been in your position and have found a way out. You may have a greater capacity to recover than you think.

there are a lot of other options when meds don't work. I'm too tired right now to go into detail.

I'm thinking of making a post in the heal or other forums that gives all the details

maybe you could say more about why you feel suicidal in the first place, origins of depression

what do you mean by "it's only the beginning"?

I hope that you can get better soon!

<3

:hug:

 

Dear flyingwithangels,

I like the screen name you chose here

Do you know that we can fly with angels when we are alive? Our spirit is here to experience life through human form. Sometimes difficulties/challenges in our life situation are for us to pay attention in order to see that which real matters in life. Maybe you can feel it already deep in your being as you have chosen such a beautiful screen name…

Here is a quote from a very popular book “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle - the quote below is from the part about his own life story:

"I cannot live with myself any longer." This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. `Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the `I' and the `self' that `I' cannot live with." "Maybe," I thought, "only one of them is real."

Here is a link to free download of the book in PDF (see page 8 for the above-mentioned story):

http://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/The-Power-Of-Now-EckhartTolle.pdf

Maybe one can say that Eckhart Tolle has been “flying with angels” since he woke up after that dark night…

Wish you well!