its only the beggining and already im suicidal i dont want to do this, im scared, im totally alone theres no one i can turn to and im lost, what else is there other than ending it, i will feel like this on and off for the rest of my life i have for 23 years and im tired and always will be. my family deny everything and wont speak to me becasue (there child cant have mental health) they say its to hard for THEM, yes and its a box of roses for me i love every minit! not! my mom told me once it would be better if i was gone then she wouldnt have to worry about when i was gunna end it becasue she knows im going to. that was when id just came out of hospital and was vulnerable and just needed a hug and to be told elisha your going to be ok im here. but my mother no couldnt wait to get me back home and get rid. mental health workers dnt know and dont care whats wrong with me so yes all doors shut, even meds dont work so i cant do this im mentally and physically tired and i dont know where to turn. actuallly theres no where to turn and no one to turn to so!?????