So Low!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Nov 21, 2010.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    What can I do?

    I feel so bad that I don't know what to do. I have got to the suicidal stage now. I have not acted on it as I don't want anyone to know that it is suicide. I am working on it though. My leg is infected and have been given a prescription of antibiotics which I am not going to take. I went to the GP about the needle in my arm. I didn't say it was on purpose and that I knew there was something there and she felt it where there was a lump and said that there was nothing they could do at the moment as if was a foreign body in it would work it's way out. So kinda hoping that becomes infected also and get blood poisoning. If I am ill again through infection and doesn't work then at least it's a good diet. Lost nearly 2 stone last time through infection. I am also working on provkoking seratonin syndrome.

    Got Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow which I am dreading. I feel that if I am totally honest with how I am feeling then I am going to end up being locked up which would not be good. I need to keep things to myself about it. I don't see what they can do for me.
  2. confusedgirl

    confusedgirl Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry ur hurting so bad but u need to tell your psych exactly what's hAppening, you sound like you need someone to take gd care of you, let them help... keep us updated Hun, hugs x
  3. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    Take the antibiotics you were prescribed and finish the complete course. This is a question of social responsibility. You are feeling dangerously low now but there is a spark in you that wants to pull through. Be honest with your psychiatrist about your fears of being locked up. They are not keen on locking people up. Be honest with your doctors they have a tough job. Just say it how it is as you have told us. You have nothing to lose.
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you've said before you don't really want to die, you just want the pain to stop. i understand. i've been there. try and be honest with the doctor. you could start the conversation by saying you don't want to be hospitalized, that it would be bad for your career among other reasons. you could start there and she what they say. there is so much overcrowding they are reluctant to hospitalize if there are other options. as for the antibiotics, please reconsider. don't forget that you just want the pain to stop. sending a big hug,
  5. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I don't know what I want. I can't continue like this. I am just biding time until it looks like an accident. In the mean time I can self harm secretly and hope that the infection takes over or seratonin syndrome kicks in. I have been thinking about it for a while.

    I have a feeling this doc tomorrow wont be any good. Wont listen. They never do!
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