What can I do? I feel so bad that I don't know what to do. I have got to the suicidal stage now. I have not acted on it as I don't want anyone to know that it is suicide. I am working on it though. My leg is infected and have been given a prescription of antibiotics which I am not going to take. I went to the GP about the needle in my arm. I didn't say it was on purpose and that I knew there was something there and she felt it where there was a lump and said that there was nothing they could do at the moment as if was a foreign body in it would work it's way out. So kinda hoping that becomes infected also and get blood poisoning. If I am ill again through infection and doesn't work then at least it's a good diet. Lost nearly 2 stone last time through infection. I am also working on provkoking seratonin syndrome. Got Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow which I am dreading. I feel that if I am totally honest with how I am feeling then I am going to end up being locked up which would not be good. I need to keep things to myself about it. I don't see what they can do for me.