So mad I'm shaking

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by thepainwithin, Jun 17, 2013.

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  1. thepainwithin

    thepainwithin Well-Known Member

    It was almost 5 years ago, my friend hooked up me with this guy he knew who could buy me weed. This kid and I were "good friends" at the time, looking back, we really weren't. I gave him $100 and he gave it to his friend and his friend just kept it.

    I saw the guy who stole my money today, the first time since that happened.

    I've since stopped smoking, I have a good job. Finishing up my degree in business management. So I'm over that high school past. But I wanted to confront the kid and I didn't.

    Now I'm worried I'm going to do something ill regret. I work in this office all day and I just have time to think and the rage builds. I want to beat the piss out of him, I want to slash his tires and set him back hundreds of dollars. Obviously I have no legal recourse.

    Looking back, that kid who set me up was probably in on it. He was such a dick to me, it was always the subtle stuff he'd do, like when we were driving home on the freeway. His car couldn't go 70, and he would purposely block me when id try to pass.

    I regret ever meeting those people, ever starting to smoke weed. Those people are so beneath me. They're the definition of trash and they always resented that I was from a good neighborhood. My dad grew up poorer than them without parents and now he's made a lot of money, and they hate that because their parents are still coked out losers who never paid any attention to them.

    Gahh I'm so fucking mad I just need to vent. I need to let it go and cut my losses. $100 is nothing, it's a lot for that kid who will be making minimum wage his whole life. White trash drug dealer who went down a city when he moved to Redford. Who's working manual labor the rest of his life. 22 and has a 5 year old.

    I just hate I have no one to vent to. No one to keep me in line, no friends to talk some sense into me. I'm all alone and these frustrations just keep building and building and I have no outlet. I've been sitting here in the office all day just thinking about it and I've worked myself up so bad I'm shaking. I wish I could believe he'll get what's coming, but I've taken so many hits in my life I have no faith in karma, or that bad things come to bad people. He has no idea how much he's affected me and he couldn't care less, either of them.

    It's been a long time coming, and I used to agree weed should be legal, but I've realized successful people don't smoke weed. If you look at everyone I used to hangout with, they are still all living in this god forsaken city making minimum wage with no plans for college a career... And the common thread between them all is pot.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    There must be a reason why you did not confront him...sometimes, I think, although it is quite hard, it is better to let these things go...mark it up as another consequence of not taking good care of yourself then, and move on...I am sure that 'kid' is not thinking about is finite and I am hopeful you can feel proud of what you made for yourself and work on the issues that hurt more, finding good company (although parenthetically, I do understanding wanting to take things into my own hands)...forgive yourself for being used and try to enjoy what you have made for yourself...all the best
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    May owe him a thank you for teaching you early on to limit how much trust you put in people in reference to drugs. You did no tmention how he is doing - if you know - I suspect far less well than you in areas of tangible successes....
  4. cherryblossom32

    cherryblossom32 New Member

    Take a deep breath and try to think logically. You said it yourself, he'll never amount to anything... The revenge for him stealing 100$ from you? Working a deadbeat job for the rest of his life while you make tons more money. ;) Life's already working it's magic on him. So don't worry and relax, because he's not worth the stress or trouble.
  5. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    The situation isn't worth staying mad over.

    By looking at it from what you've typed on here - you gave the money over in the first place. To then say that they stole it is, unfortunately speaking, a perspective that has been built with no real substance. You didn't have to give any money to anyone. Apologies if that sounds harsh though - Not deliberately getting at you, it's more analyzing what you've done/said.

    But as for the rest of it - $100 can be a lot of money to some, and your own life is going better since you got out of the drugs circle. Violence doesn't solve anything either - so I'd recommend anger management therapy. Perhaps there's a sport or other equivalent anger outlet that you can use outside of the working day?
  6. Neverforget

    Neverforget Member

    When I got taken by someone I considered a close friend in high school, my dead beat dad, of all people told me to consider it tuition in the school of life. There are some things they never teach you in regular school and college.
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