so many problems..!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ZeroEcho, Sep 27, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. ZeroEcho

    ZeroEcho New Member

    i dont know why this had to happen to me! it started off GREAT! and i just wanna go back and live in those days forever! my family was rich, living in canada. With a huge house and a perfect family, it all started when i was in grade 1 got perfect grades and everything, had many nice friends until my family moved to another place and my sister (i loved so much and still do) decided to stay for university. when i got to my new house .it wasnt as good as my old but it was okay because i have my sister! soon i found that she wasnt coming. at first i was like okay thats not a problem, a few years later my grade began to drop to a C- my parents were pressuring me and telling me why cant i be like my sister. after thinking way back to grade 1 i soon found out that my sister played a huge role in my life, she was helping me with homework and cheering me up when i was sad, encouraging me to keep up the good work and lol playing with me when i was alone. now..? im alone in the house, my parents used to work at 8:00 am to 10:00 pm leaving me alone at the house for almost the whole day! without anyone to play with (i cant go out with friends or have friends over) . if only my sister was there.

    Now? im 15 going to 16 in a month.. little improvments my sister still isnt back yet.. my parents work at 7:00 am 6:00 pm and whenever there home i dont even talk to them because of past experience. my sister some times comes to visit but when she does im shy to talk to her, my relationship with is dead. she also got married i couple days ago, now i know for sure that shes never coming back because she has a great job a perfect husband and a perfect life. My childhood, at home everyday not going outside ever! and the bad part is my parents think they can make up my childhood through buying a bunch of crap! and people say im a spoiled brat and crap like that.
    i would trade everything i have for my childhood.

    People dont know that im suicidal my parents dont know my sister doesnt know. i act like a normal kid at schools have many friends and im crushing on this one girl and i hope to take her out on a date soon. if you met me you may think my life is perfect. but if you were me..
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    it is so hard to adjust to losing your friend and major support around you...from what you have said, you are still close to her, which is comforting...please post more about how you are deserve a voice, and know we are here for you...big hugs, Jackie
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Hmm well moves during your adolescent life is rather difficult. Especially since your sister played such a huge role in your life. You always leaned on her and now she is gone. But you have to adapt. You cannot honestly believe your sister was always going to be there. I think this is a good experience for you really. For 95% of people it is normal to leave the family and start their own. However, some families stay together forever.

    You sound like you are lonely because no one knows the real you, kind of like me. Only difference is that I was never close with my siblings. And my sisters feel bad about it so now they try and make up the years of my life that they were not there, mainly they were off teasing and breeding with random guys. To be honest sooner or later you sister would have cut you off or lessened her influence in your life. Mainly because you are growing up. And unfortunately you are not your sister nor will any other female ever be your sister. But I can completely relate. My sisters always did better than me easily no matter how many hours I spent doing homework not matter how much I studied I barely got B's but my sisters came home with straight A's all the time. It was always "Your sisters can do it I could do it why can't you?" from my mom. I know where you are coming from. Only last year my mom started to accept that I am not my sister, and I am 21.

    As for a childhood? Well I spent my childhood riding my bike to wherever I needed to go sports school events the mall whatever. Not much of a childhood either. In the end most of us long for the innocence of youth. But we will never have it and most of us do not get a childhood as it is commonly conceived. Mainly because of the invention of the TV and Console gaming. Then parents want to be proud of their kids so they force them into activities. ANd some will not have just one but several. So all the time that would normally be consumed playing is consumed with activities. So do not feel to bad it could be worse for a young age your parents could have put you in an activity and brainwashed you into thinking you wanted to do that.

    My advice... well the advice I am given.. is come out of your shell.... If you cannot do that hide in your shell till you can get far away from where you are then come out of it there...
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.