So many things

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by roksy, Nov 23, 2012.

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  1. roksy

    roksy Well-Known Member

    Things are getting really tough. So many issues in my mind and I am unable to handle them all. I don't know how to sort them out. I am not sure what to do with them.

    What do I do with all these thoughts that I can't process? I am not sure.
     
  2. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    Have you tried writing them down? Sometimes it helps by making you organise your thoughts enough to write them. Does that make sense?
     
  3. roksy

    roksy Well-Known Member

    Hi Wispiwill,

    Yeah I try to write every day. It is really soothing. But I have no idea where all these new weird thoughts come from. I am not sure why this keeps on happening. It is not easy.
     
  4. WldHair

    WldHair Well-Known Member

    They aren't all your thoughts. You have to understand that we're all connected to one another and when we get into a dark place, we become extremely vulnerable and sensitive to other people and spirits as well. If you are writing, make a list of your thoughts and whichever thoughts don't make sense to you or you know don't belong to you, chuck it from your mind, don't waste your time trying to sort it out. When you turn up the volume on your thoughts, the others will simply get drowned out, so simply focus on the thoughts that belong to you. Good luck!
     
  5. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    What kind of things do you write? (Just curious) but what I meant was writing down the thoughts and things in a comprehensive list.
     
  6. roksy

    roksy Well-Known Member

    WldHair,

    This is really wise advice. I am not sure I am wise enough to implement it. I had this thought in my mind that maybe these foreign thoughts upset me because they do not belong to me, but how does one differentiate between the thoughts that really do not belong to you and those that you feel don't belong to you because society deemed that they do not?

    Wispiwill,

    I write about all kinds of things. I sometimes fill out DBT exercises. I write about thoughts that went through my mind during the day (and try to let go of them) and I brainstorm about a particular event that was significant during the day. It helps a lot but sometimes even during the day I am afraid to write so I don't open Pandora's Box.
     
  7. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    Why are you sometimes afraid to write?
     
  8. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I understand this, and know what WldHair writes is very true. Roksy, you could try telling yourself that, as this phenomena is happening for you, that you are going to see it as an opportunity. I think it is a positive opportunity, although at present perhaps an unwelcome one.

    I've written about a type of journalling that can sort all this out in my thread "Would you like to be re-made?" It's like a planned attack to get to the bottom of our thoughts and our feelings and is a great self-awareness tool. You become specific in detailing and then in your choices.

    It helps to have someone to guide you through it - I understand that when faced with it on your own, as you write, you don't feel wise enough to be able to do it. To begin with it does appear daunting, I understand that. However, the choice you have is to either stay as you are with this stuff happening, or to begin to deal with it. And asking for opinions as to what to do is a good place to start.

    Is obtaining professional help a possibility for you? You have explained the problem very well here - if you explained it to a psychologist, they might be able to help you with it. If not, I could try to help you - am willing to support anyone trying to sort out their thought life - if you would like. It's not good to feel alone at all if you want to do this :)
     
  9. roksy

    roksy Well-Known Member

    Wispiwill,

    Sometimes I have thoughts that come to my during the day that are really difficult to deal with, so I just suppress them. But I am still aware of them, so I am afraid to write so I don't have to unveil these thoughts again and have to think about them. They are really difficult to deal with.

    urPrecious,

    Thanks. I will be seeing the therapist in a couple of days. Although I am also having trouble with therapists as they have prejudices of their own. It makes it difficult to talk to them when they don't even want to acknowledge the prejudice.
     
  10. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi Roksy - this is VERY healthy thinking you are doing, I just want to encourage you :) I totally understand about the prejudices that therapists have, because they are human beings and sometimes find it difficult to be totally objective and professional, although their training should've taken this into account.

    Being afraid to write the thoughts down is understandable, but - monsters hide in the darkness! Bringing them out into the light does not empower them - it exposes them and you will find that you are stronger than they are.

    I am really excited for you roksy, because there is so much potential for you in this opportunity..... although it's not what we might assume the majority do with their time, it is a very healthy thing you are doing. Maybe other people do do it, but keep it hidden - the fact that you're sharing it with us here is a brave step, a healthy step which will reap rewards for you :)
     
  11. roksy

    roksy Well-Known Member

    Thanks urPrecious,

    I understand that therapists are humans but I am tired of being discriminated against. I understand what I am going through isn't east but this doesn't allow other people to keep playing it safe. Ever since I have decided not to accept prejudice things have gotten really difficult for me. I am now realizing how much I have been allowing comments to get to me without standing up for myself. I am facing an enormous task.

    Exposing the thoughts are important as you say. Sometimes its a relief just to bury them.

    Thanks for your encouragement but I am definitely not optimistic about my prospects.
     
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