So many times I feel like Im the only one

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by WHY ME????, Jun 13, 2008.

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  1. WHY ME????

    WHY ME???? Active Member

    Im currently 20 years old and I still live with my parents, and I have never had a girlfriend either. I have been struggling with Social Anxiety Disorder along with alot of depression and loneliness for years now.

    As I write this, I am currently in a very bad frame of mind. It seems as if the depression has worsened, alot of it has to do with the weekend and seeing people around me so happy - and I feel like I am reaching the breaking point

    I am glad that I registered with this site. However, I feel like I am reaching a point with my depression that is scaring me. I keep having persistent fantasies and thoughts of ending my life and checking out of this world.

    I was crying all night as I was going over in my head how bad things are and how so damn lonely I feel, and I couldn't stop crying. It's been a bad, bad time and I am tired, tired, tired of this condition and of all the things that go along with it: depression, loneliness, shame, missed opportunities, tons of regrets.

    I dont want to repeat what I said that pissed everyone off, but as I look around I see guys and girls who are in their teens, 20s who are outgoing, happy, or who are dating and having relationships, and I get really sad. I never did any of that. I realize that because of this SA and because of all of the depression and the self-esteem issues that I have blown a large portion of my life.

    Im sorry if it looks as though I'm feeling sorry for myself again but this really hurts!!!!

    I will never know what it was like to date as a teenager, to kiss as a teenager, to have sex as a teenager because I was too busy being afraid. Damn guys, this really really hurts. I don't know what to do. It's hard to press on and to continue on with life when you feel like there is no way out or no better way.
  2. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. Times can get hard. You may think or feel that they never will get better. It does hurt. I'm right here with ya, okay? I've got depression, and well.. it sure as hell ain't easy to deal with.

    The pain life can bring, sometimes overrides all the joys. Nothing can fix it. But even giving up, won't fix everything. It just causes others much more pain...

    PM me or something if you need to talk.

  3. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    I don't blame you for feeling alone, and you're free to tell us any time - I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise :(. I always cry and think about death, I think its important for coping, and it would be much worse in the long run if you held it all in, and didn't think about how you felt at all. You should NOT feel guilty about yourself, you feel whatever you want and never be afraid to tell us, that is the best way to make yourself feel better and go on to whatever you want to do. I'm sorry you're not a teen anymore, but I don't believe you missed much. Your life is what it is, and you can't have more than what you're given to enjoy. You can still have love in your adult life, neither your teen years, nor mine, nor anyone else's can change that.
  4. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    hi, i remember your other post from a little while ago and i realize this wont be much comfort to you but ive experienced some of the things you have posted about and feel the same way about things.

    basically what im trying to say is if you ever need a talk about it all feel free to contact me. im not sure what use i will be (if any) but i will try and help.
  5. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    You're in the same situation as me. I turned 20 in April, no longer a teenager.. but I dont really think like that. I think 16 - 25 whatever is all the same. we're all still very young. I've never had a girlfriend either, though i have girls coming onto me. I have problems with confidence, shyness and lonlyness. I have a medical condition of sweating on my hands which destroys my confidence. I have no job. I dropped out of uni last year, so now i dont really have anything. I need to steer back on track but im really lost. I wish I had someone wish some real thoughts and maturity to speak to in real life, like some of you people on here. I have a few friends who i dont see very often, but they're immature. I want to move forward and forget the last few years of my depression ever happened.
  6. No_Angel

    No_Angel Member

    I'm gonna be 23 in september....and I really feel like i've fucked up my life..i don't want to think about all the things i missed because then i'll go even crazier than i already am...but we can't turn back time we just have to deal with it.When you are at the bottom it can only get better ,right:)
    Pm me if you want,i think we have a lot in common:)
  7. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    don't feel sorry for saying how you feel because we have to let out the thoughts that hurt us to move forward.

    I feel i have stuffed up life as well, and all the missed opportunities and the shame that goes with it. This can become a vicious cycle and can be hard to break.

    I get told stop feeling sorry for myself, but it hurts soo much at times and so i can relate to how you feel.

    what I am planning to try is, to do something nice (a treat or make a small goal) for myself everyday, perhaps you can have a go as well.
  8. Xian

    Xian Well-Known Member

    s.a.d. is a most terrible mental illnessss!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. WHY ME????

    WHY ME???? Active Member

    It is I would rather be scared of clowns than people
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You didn't miss much in your teen years. I was on the other side. I always had a GF.I was popular. And now I am 51 and living at my sisters. So you see, it isn't any better on the dark side.(haha)
    I am glad you found the forums because you will get alot of good info. Everyone here are very kind and sympathetic. I screwed up my life big time.I won't go into detail. I can't blame someone else because I brought it on myself.
    I recommend you see a doctor and he should be able to hook you up with someone from the mental health organization. You will need a good therapist,a shrink to prescribe meds to help you when you need something to lean on. I hope you find your way...:chopper:
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