so many times will i ever succeed!!

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by goddamnmad, Sep 8, 2007.

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  1. goddamnmad

    goddamnmad Member

    ive attempted suicide 8 times and failed each one of them. ive always been found out even though ive said nothing to nobody then straight to hospital then to the psych ward. im fed up of this world this place it has no room here for me anymore......when will i flippin succeed!!
  2. Damian_H

    Damian_H Well-Known Member

    Maybe suicide isn't the answer, find out whats causeing you to be so depressed and face it, Well, we're all here to help you on this site. I hope you get through this :hug:
  3. I HATE the Psych Ward!!!!!! They don't understand a sincere deathwish. When you're TIRED, you're just goddamned TIRED!!!!!!! I hope you find peace one way or the other....

  4. falsetooth

    falsetooth Member

    It's not that hard =)
  5. Trip the Dark fantastic

    Trip the Dark fantastic Well-Known Member

    I too ended up (frequently) on a Psych Ward. After my third attempt I had permanently damaged ligaments in my wrist.... and I finally started thinking and reading about my intentions facing some hard facts.

    Statistics show, that most suicide attempters don't want to die. Only one in ten or twenty attempts is fatal. Fact is, that not everybody who attempts suicide is actually trying to kill him/herself. They may be cries for attention, cries which may never have been picked up. However, some of those people really end up killing (or maiming) themselves.

    Have you thought that you might be one of them?

    You write : "...I've attempted suicide 8 times and failed each one of them. I've always been found out...". Have you contemplated, why you have been found out 8 times? What were the reasons for your unexpected rescue, or your mistakes in planning or knowledge. I think, you wanted to be found out, and nothing wrong with it. An - for you - unbearable situation needed urgent attention.

    The hard facts are, I think you don't really want to die, that it is indeed a '"suicidal gesture' and that one of these days you may (accidentally) really kill yourself. All you might have wanted was crying louder than previously and suddenly all you are getting is an unstoppable coldness, extinguishing your very cores flames and embers...

    After 8 attempts I would be curious about my intentions. Why am I still around after 8 attempts ? Why has nothing changed after 8 attempts?
    Anon's "It seemed like a good the time." might have been a reason.

    I'm convinced you would greatly benefit from informing yourself about medical consequences, how to carry out safe suicidal gestures...etc...because as I see it, the alternative of a botched suicide is being permanently maimed or accidental death.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 9, 2007
  6. goddamnmad

    goddamnmad Member

    i think i really do mean it, not for a cry for help although everyone keeps saying it is. i get found out cos they recognise the after effects of the overdoses and get me to hospital where i dont have a choice about what happens to me. if it was down to me i wouldnt get treatment or anything. hopefully by now my liver is damaged to a certain extent and one of these days i will succeed just got to do it a successful way not one thats liable for me to get caught anymore
  7. falsetooth

    falsetooth Member

    Why not use more reliable means rather than failing 8 times. I mean you may come to a point where you're so disabled that you can't even attempt anymore. Seems like you're driven enough though to make those efforts, why not consolidate?
  8. Trip the Dark fantastic

    Trip the Dark fantastic Well-Known Member

    It is indeed down to you and (luckily) for you,-up to now-you have chosen to be found out.

    I repeat, perhaps it is time to accept simply a few hard facts. If you have been told that what you do might be displaying suicidal gestures, if you get it confirmed here in this forum or elsewhere, chances are, there must be some truth in it. At least enough to question your motives behind your suicide attempts. As already pointed out in my previous posting; I urge you to do that.

    Some food for thought:

    Colt, G The Enigma of Suicide 1991, p373
    Why do people commit suicide? What kind of types are there? Here is a (by no means comprehensive) list. These points might be a good starting point to identify your reason and investigate further.

    "Heroic suicide. Philosophical suicide. Religious suicide. Escape from an unbearable situation. Excess alcohol and other drug use. Romantic suicide. Anniversary" suicide. An attempt to manipulate others. Seek help or send a distress signal. Lack of an outside source to blame for one's misery....."

    I am convinced that sound knowledge about your motives and intentions will eventually lead you to resolve your suicidal tendencies (on way or another).
    What is really utterly regrettable is that you might commit an accidental suicide and your family has to cope with loss/grief or worse, having to care for you for the rest of your life.

    Reading the stories of parents, friends, lovers and loved ones, who suffer in silence because of guilt, of not having been able to prevent a suicide attempt surpasses the 'But it's me who is important, no one else'.

    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 10, 2007
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