So messed up.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Franki, Jun 18, 2008.

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  1. Franki

    Franki New Member

    It seems to me that I'm trying too hard to keep up with people that seem to have it easy.

    I'm supposed to be in Gr.11 but I failed that grade, I went to Adult Ed. I won't graduate with my peers. I won't graduate at all.

    I've come back home and my Mom keeps yelling at me because I haven't gotten a job and because I'm sleeping on her couch. I'm supposed to be staying at my Dad's but her place is more in town. She gave my room to my brother, I don't belong anywhere. I wish I had a normal place to sleep, my own room.

    I won't find a job, even if I did I wouldn't like it and I'd probably be fired right away. I do nothing right. No one wants me, my Mom told me that just an hour ago. I want my brother and sister to go into a foster home, It's too late for me. I'll be turning 18 and then I'll be an adult. I'm already paying for everything, I want responsible parents.

    I want us three to have responsible parents, I don't want my life to be messed up. I don't know who to turn to, my Mom's told me that I cost too much.

    I already have a plan in my head, I've already written something down.

    I know it's selfish to kill yourself, but I guess I'm a selfish person. I'm not a good person, I'm trying to finish highschool. Right now I don't party, I'm not an out of hand teenager. Yet no one likes or can handle me. I've costed people so much money and time that if I were to end it...They may feel sad for abit but then you forget about that person. It's happened, I've experienced having someone close die but now it's like they're a distant memory.
  2. Franki

    Franki New Member

    I've calmed down now that I've just sat here in my sister's room. I'm okay for now.:)
  3. GaiaMischief

    GaiaMischief Well-Known Member

    I'm glad to hear that, Frank. I'm sorry to say that I saw your post and wasn't really sure what to say at all. I try to only post meaningful and constructive words here. Some people's situations here really daunt me when I compare them to my own, you have a lot of courage to fight through this.

    Let us know if things get bad for you again, we're always here.
  4. frankie626

    frankie626 Active Member

    Hey Franki,

    Sounds like we have more in common than just our names. My mom used to say things like that as well.. Abusive both verbal and physical, it was awful. It wasn't until I moved out on my own that we were able to get along. Ur still young and you have a lot of options right now. U can get urself a part-time job and go to college. Or even get urself in the military like what I did.. Hope this helps, take cares.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Franki, I just read your thread. It sounds like your mom is trying. She probably could use the help financialy. When is the last time you went to the supermarket with her? You wouldn't beleive how much the prices have gone up, hell a gallon of milk is over $4.00. And she has to feed the three of you and herself. I guess what I am trying to say is give her some credit. When was the last time you hugged her and told her you love her?
    There is a whole big world out there to see. So don't give up, your young and have a full life ahead of you.
    I agree with the other Frankie that a good option is the military. I was wild and crazy and was kicked out of the house too. So I joined the Marines(it figures I would join the tuffest one) they made me grow up real quick. I am 51 now and I still carry around the pride that comes from being a Marine.
    Once you join you get alot of stuff free. Your medical, dental, food from the chow hall. I don't know, it takes a man to join up. By the way you get to travel to different countries and get to see alot. All right i'll get off my soap box.
    All I can say is help your mom, she probably will faint(haha). Take Care Franki...:chopper:
  6. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    You sound to me like a good person. Even with your rough circumstances, you want to finish school. I just can't connect with the thought of my Mom saying no one wants me. I'd be totally devastated.

    You have the potential to do something good with your life. I hope you'll be able to keep your act and your mind together as you work your way through the next few years.

  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry to hear you feel so displaced. It is hard on everyone when parents split and kids are juggled around. I am glad to hear you have set some goals for yourself. Even if you can't graduate with the class you began with, it is not to late for you to reach your graduation goals in the future. Maybe you could try getting work at least part time and helping out a bit. I know as a parent I sometimes become extreme;y frustrated with my children, but I cannot imagine ever saying things like what you have heard from your mother. I can't help but think things must be very difficult for her too. Don't give up hope or your goals. Keep your head on straight despite the hardships and you will succeed. Have faith in yourself and ask for help if you need it. Take care and stay safe. :hug:
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