I am going to visit him today, after my kids go to their father's house for the weekend. I am so afraid of what he's going to say to me, and so afraid of how he's going to react. Part of me is hopeful that he will see that he is a good person and deserves to have a good life with good people in it. But there is this bigger part of me that says he will tell me he never wants to see or hear from me again. And that is so upsetting, almost to the point where I just don't want to go. Another part of me is afraid his ex wife will get there and start screwing with his mind again, and that is what set this off to begin with. I just want him to be okay and happy and at least like a little bit of himself, whether or not I am in his future, I just want him to be alive and well. He is so shrouded with pain and agony, that he doesn't see what an awesome person he really and truely is. He's not perfect, but no one is. He's got people who do love and care about him and want him to lean on them in his time of greatest need. I know I would take his pain and bear the scars for him myself, if I could.