So Over Life....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Devoted2KL, Jun 9, 2013.

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  1. Devoted2KL

    Devoted2KL Guest

    My life has been in a downward spiral for the last 6 months. I have to care for my Father 24/7 and I'm raising 3 children with my partner. I currently have no job due to the fact that I care for my Dad. And I'm going through a major episode of mania and depression all at the same time. Lately it seems like it just keeps getting worse for me with no end in sight. I have attempted suicide multiple times in the past with no success. I have now tried it today. <edit methods>. I don't know how long it will take to kick in or if it will even work this time. Since each time in the past I've been unsuccessful. I've found that I have a high tolerance for medications and for that it is harder for me to complete the task. Thankfully today I'm alone and if worse comes to worse I'm going to keep taking more till I get the job done. Life isn't worth living anymore. I'm tired of trying to help everyone and making sure that everyone else is taken care of. I've asked for help through many windows. Seeing 2 counselors and going to Urgent Care in hopes that someone could help me with receiving medication and or help for the time being. With no luck I've resulted to the only thing that seems to be helpful for me. Although I'm new to this site this will probably be my only thread. As it is my note to the world about how shitty life has been for me. Although I'm going to miss out on so much of my children's lives the thought of feeling the way I do makes me feel worse. I can't go on anymore. I'm tired. I just wish that someone would have listened to me and taken me a little more serious. I asked for help. Help just wasn't given. :sorrow:
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2013
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Please PM me if you return as I know that getting help is very difficult and sometimes others have strategies I could not come up with. If you do return, let us know how you are doing.
  3. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear that this is happening. It's hard enough to manage bipolar alone, and even harder if you also are trying to care for others.

    While it is nice that you are trying to care for your dad, it's clearly too much. And if you died, you wouldn't be there to care for him anyways.

    Your dad should be able to move into a government sponsored nursing home. He may have to give up his assets to do that, but the government should do that.

    You really can't take care of anyone else if you can't take care of yourself. It's in everyone's best interests for you to make your own healthcare the priority.

    Hope that things can get better soon!
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