I have no idea what to say, except that I feel so lonely and sad. I'm stressed about finishing school -- has to be done soon. My marriage is struggling and he's off to California for 2 weeks. The house suddenly feels really empty. I upset somebody on chat last night and now they seem to be running from me and I feel sick about it. I was sick all night thinking that I hurt somebody so much. And, my eyes hurt and they tell me there's nothing they can do. My eyes are my life. I mean, I can't do music anymore because of a tumor I had to have removed from my hand years ago. So, I read all the time. I was a librarian up until a few months ago. I'm a researcher. What will I do? I just want to disappear so badly. Just disappear. Not be. I never say that on here because it is so stupid. And people just say, "don't think that way." But, I don't know what to do at the moment. It's the feeling that got me here in the first place. And, I try to be positive around here. I don't know why, but it seems like the good thing to do. And, I like all the people. Why does it have to hurt so much? It just hurts so badly.