So scared *trigger warning*

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Songie

Well-Known Member
#1
I'm out in KY visiting my dad and this is where my rape happened. I've seen the guy that did it multiple times now (David) and...well, when he raped me (7 years ago, when I was 10) he had a thing for razor blades, or moreso using them against me. And a few days ago he broke into my house and cut me up really bad. I have 7 deep cuts on my side and about 15 on my chest...I'm scared and I just want to die. I don't see the point in living anymore...not when I'm going to have to go through this pain. Everyone has always told me that a couple years after it happened I would be able to deal with it better...but it hasnt been like that for me. I've been to multiple counselors, tried all kinds of therapy, been on god only knows how many different medications...and I'm still terrified and the thought of him. I just want to watch my blood pool on the bathroom floor...I just want to die. Someone help me please...
 

triggs

Account Closed
#2
:hug: oh man, i just want to give you a hug right now! have you told your dad about this hun? if not, you really should, and report him to the police! you deserve help and happiness and above all a safe place to be! it does take a long time to get passed this, and for now, you should be able to get the help to allow you to do that. please talk to the police hun! :heart: thinking of you
triggs xx
 

mandyj101

Well-Known Member
#3
hey .. uv been through so much .. like triggs said u need 2 tell some1 straight away .. what hes done/doing isnt right .. ppl can stop him if u let them .. u have 2 find the strength 2 tell some1 about this .. please :hug:
im thinking of u also .. please stay safe and tell some1 .. x
 

WildCherry

Owner Emeritus
#4
Agreed, you really need to talk to your dad, or if not him, the police or someone you can trust. You shouldn't have to live in fear forever.
 

Songie

Well-Known Member
#5
I want to talk to someone so bad...but I'm so scared...if they dont get to him fast enough...and if he gets to me...I have enough memories to live with already...and I dont want that to happen again. i dont think I could handle it if he raped me again...it nearly destroyed me last time...I dont think I could live through it again...I honestly dont. And I dont know if my dad would believe me...he already knows about David raping me. But no one (except my boyfriend, Shane) knows that he had a thing for razor blades. And...I had a cutting problem for a really long time...and I'm scared that my dad will think im lying and that I'm just cutting again and dont want to admit it. I dont know what to do here...I'm so scared...and I feel so alone...because no one in my family can really understand what I'm going through right now. I mean, they know it was horrible...but they dont understand the flashbacks and the nightmares and the humiliation...I dont know what I should do...I'm so damn scared...and...David knows where I live...and that kills me....I dont know....maybe it would just be easier to die.
 

Stranger1

Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend
#7
You need to call the police.. If you let him get away with this then he will be back for more because he knows he has control over you..Don't hesitate call the police now.. Tell them you are in fear for your life..
 

ODIECOM

Well-Known Member
#8
hmmm,

im not quite sure i understand this.
your dad knows he raped you. hes raped you twice.
why in the world didnt your dad do something about it ?? im not sure what differance razor blades would make to your dad, if davids raped you already.

i guess what puzzles me is the fact that your dad did nothing when he found out.
i understand where women that get raped fail to report it to anyone, because of fear and shame.
im not trying to sound insensitive or not understanding, but im just kinda puzzled by this.

odie
 

neno1

Well-Known Member
#9
Songie, the best thing u can do is contact the POLICE right away and report him, that will give u the most amazing sense of getting urself back, I personally know what u r going through, but not violently - I myself am a victim of abuse, Im vocal about it.

U have got to this stage of asking for help, stay here with us and we will help u,

I agree, u have to tell ur dad, u have to tell, fear is contained in secrets, remove the secret by talking and it does take away the fear.

by telling ur dad, u will be protecting urself and some-one else to protect u,

if u need to chat sweetie, send me a message, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#10
You need to tell the police and your father. Yell it if you have to but tell him how frightened you are and you need protection If you need to call the emergency dept of the hospital and tell them what is happening and that you feel unsafe that you feel like your going to harm yourself. They will put you in hospital where it will be safe away from the house your in. In hospital no one can harm you YOu can tell social worker doctors there and they can help you call police and keep you safe. Please call for help please.
 

neno1

Well-Known Member
#11
listen to mary, she has good advice, u need to shout and scream to protect urself, u have to shout and scream sweetie, please, please, please, xxxxxxxx
 

Songie

Well-Known Member
#12
Well they found out about him breaking in and cutting me up..."they" being my dad, aunt karen and 2 cousins...well, I told one of my cousins and he told everyone else...and now they are hiding all of the razors and shit from me because they thing I'm cutting...they said I was lying...because David lives an hour away from me and they say that it isnt possible...i knew they wouldnt believe me. GOD DAMMIT!!! Sorry, im a bit frustrated at the moment...
 
#13
I have a 10 yr old daughter, I can safely say that if some guy raped my daughter there's no way he'd doing anything to her again, he would be, at the least, in a wheelchair, if he was even still breathing. You need to take your feelings out on this bastard not on yourself, sounds like you've suffered enough, it should be him suffering now not you. Get some money together and get this guy sorted. Sorry if this isn't helpful, it just boils me up inside, I fuckin hate abusers.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#16
If they don't believe you then find someone who will the police. Go to hospital and talk with rape coucillor there and they will believe you they will get you the councilling you need. The hell with all of them you know what happened and fff them all report his ass get him locked up so he doesn't harm anyone else i know what is it like please know we believe you.
 

yursomedicated

Chat & Forum Buddy
#17
Sandra,

My advice would follow everyone elses. I would call the police (you have physical proof he did it) I would tell your father and mother, or gaurdian. Also, I wouldn't visit your father anymore. Have him come to you. Y ou need to really tell someone this, other then us. Because if it was up to us, I think half of us would kill him if we had the chance. You can message me if you ever need to talk.

Be safe,

Ronnie
 

Songie

Well-Known Member
#18
Thanks everybody. And yeah...Im leaving Kentucky in about 2 days...going back to Oregon. I think some people may have misunderstood what I said earlier. This guy raped me when I was 10 but the other day when he broke in, he didnt rape me again...he just cut me up really bad. Yeah, he would have raped me...but someone else in the house was waking up so he left...lucky for him, cuz I had gotten ahold of a phone and my boyfriend was on his way over...and if Shane (my boyfriend) had gotten there before he left...well, he probably wouldnt have left at all. But yeah...just wanted to clear that up and let you all know that Im getting the hell outta here. Im sorry to say it...but I cant go to the police...I cant go through trying to report it again. Last time I did they mysteriously lost my report. Its bullshit. And the way the cops talked to you...its like they know that your lying and they're just waiting for you to admit it. And then...idk...having to go over every detail of it with someone that I barely know...I cant do that again...I just cant...
 
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