I actually just want to curl up in a hole somewhere right now, I feel like absolute bollocks and I've had to cancel my appointment with my psychiatrist. My momma was rushed into hospital at 4am this morning with horrific stomach pains, she's now going to have to have surgery to remove her colon and get a colostomy bag... It's one thing after another for her, she is always getting so ill and I hate it. I now have to stay at home and look after my disabled sister cos they'res only me available to do so, my dad is going and spend time with my mum which is completely understandable. I dont really mind looking after my sister, but I really needed this appointment, I'm a suicidal wreck and I just don't know how I'm gonna handle this all. I'm so scared that my mum won't make it through the operation, that something bad will happen and she will die, and then I won't know what the fuck to do. My mum is my rock and I love her so freaking much. Why does all the bad shit always happen to her?