I'm so unbelievably frustrated and am so sick and tired of my pathetic, shitty life. My insomnia has been relentless lately. Last night, I was exhausted as usual, so I went to bed around 8pm and fell asleep around 9pm, before my partner came up to bed. I woke up suddenly around midnight with my heart racing, on the verge of a panic attack with no idea why. It was also strange because sometime during those whopping 3 solid hours that I slept, my partner managed to come up to bed without waking me (which is unheard of, as a spider fart would typically wake me). I laid there from midnight to 1:15am, and finally just got up when it became obvious that I wasn't going to get any more sleep. I've felt weird, exhausted and just yucky ever since. When my partner got up, she asked how I was feeling and I told her first about zonking out hard for a few hours then waking up so early. She then began to argue with me, "Well you were sound asleep when I came up to bed, and you didn't even wake up, so you must have gotten some good sleep!". Allrightythen... so 3 hours of sleep is adequate as long as it's uninterrupted? Hmmm... I'll have to remind her that next time she gets slightly less than her usual 8-10 hours. Then I told her that I was feeling a little weird and dizzy, and that I thought I might have caught the cold she is just getting over (the same cold that as usual, turned her into a whiny, needy baby for 2 weeks). She responds by asking me if maybe I was "making myself sick to get out of having to go to Thanksgiving". Really? REALLY?!?!? It's true, I f**king HATE the holidays, but if I can't bring myself to go to Thanksgiving, I don't need to make myself sick to choose to get out of it. Needless to say, I was delighted to get her out of the house this morning. Then, on her way into work she leaves me a message (I was so irked, I couldn't even pick up the phone) suggesting that my bad attitude was making me sick, and that I needed to "snap out of it or we'd keep passing this virus back and forth". Then she told me that she wanted me to work on organizing my studio (which is a disaster area right now) so that I can start cranking out some new pieces. Despite the fact that I have dozens of completed pieces collecting dust because even though everybody claims to love them, no one is buying them. So, to summarize: 1. My insomnia can't be so bad because I didn't wake up when she came up to bed. And it doesn't matter how little actual sleep I get while she is sleeping, because when she closes her eyes, the world stops and disappears until she opens them again in the morning. 2. When I get a virus, it is either manufactured or my own fault, and denial and positive thinking is the cure. When she gets a virus, I must drop everything and tend to her like she is on her deathbed. 3. Once again, I've reached my depression time limit. So since I have complete control over my depression (apparently, I just like to be depressed), I can switch it off at any time, pull some inspiration out of my ass and crank out some new pieces that I can will people to buy. Am I being unreasonable?!